Distorted Self-Image

“But whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.”

Proverbs 1:33

Seeing yourself as defective is the height of a distorted self-image. It’ll serve as a brick wall in your progress toward freeing yourself from your past. Additionally, shame-bound people may also experience: 

1. Denial – often associated with self-deception, and pain avoidance. 
2. Obsessive Performance – used to manage or avoid feelings of shame. Everything in life becomes a test of your worth, and the potential or reality of failure is enough to push toward suicide rather than face failure. 
3. Striving for Perfection – Control and controlling others is common behavior for the goal of perfection. This is an unhealthy pursuit of the impossible, yet the perfectionist subjects others to their harsh expectations.  
4. Addictions – Hurting people who avoid or deny they are struggling, often turn to ways of numbing the pain. Food, sex, alcohol, drugs are but a few of the “medications” we cling to for relief. Obviously, there is no relief without healing.  

Shame-bound people are desperate for intimacy, but fail to create the environment for attracting, fostering, and keeping it. We were created for relationships. People in pain usually reject intimacy although we suffer more without it. While we may decide to wait until we’re healed before making connections, the opposite is true in that until we open up and allow ourselves to connect with others in a healthy, adult relationship, we will never know healing and freedom. Freedom comes through healing, and healing comes through intimacy. 

Call To Action  

1. Write out 10 words that best describe you.  
2. Write out why you feel each of these words holds power in your life.  
3. Write out Yes or No beside each of the 10 words if that’s a word your loved ones would use to describe you.  
4. Write out in detail what happened in your last romantic relationship, and why you feel it turned out the way it did – Good or Bad.