Wisdom for FriendshipsÖrnek

When You’re Hurt or Disappointed

As we choose to pursue friendships and community, it’s important to know that we’ll eventually experience frustration, and maybe even hurt. This is because we’re all people trying to figure out how we can best love and care for one another—but we don’t always get it right.

Jesus experienced this with His disciples the evening before He was crucified. During their final meal together, Jesus predicted Judas’ betrayal and Peter’s denial.

Then He went with Peter, James, and John to Gethsemane, where He asked them to stay awake while He went off to pray. When He came back, all three of His friends were asleep. This happened two more times before the time came for Jesus to be handed over to be crucified.

Everything Jesus said would happen, did. Judas betrayed Him. Peter denied Him. And still, Jesus called them friends.

Imagine how Jesus must have felt in these moments when He experienced hurt, disappointment, and betrayal from His closest friends.

It would have been easy, and understandable, for Jesus to retaliate. He could have yelled at His friends and started a fight. He could have shut down, ignored them, and never thought about them again.

Instead, He chose grace, forgiveness, and understanding. After His resurrection, Jesus went to find Peter, who had denied Him three times. Sitting together, they had a conversation where Jesus forgave Peter and reestablished their relationship.

When we’re hurt by our friends, we each have a natural tendency as to how we want to respond. Some people lash out, while others retreat. Instead of letting a default defensive mode take over, we can proactively decide to respond like Jesus did—with love, understanding, and care.

This doesn’t mean that the hurt isn’t important and real. But it does mean that we get the opportunity to seek out reconciliation, even when it’s hard. We can choose to step into difficult situations and move toward forgiveness.

Depending on the situation, sometimes it’s helpful and necessary to create boundaries. These boundaries aren’t meant to keep people out, but instead help us to love others well. They protect our hearts so we can confidently step into friendships with others.

So decide right now how you’ll respond the next time someone frustrates, disappoints, or hurts you. And remember that reconciliation and forgiveness are possible.

Pray: Jesus, thank You for showing me what it looks like to love others well. Please give me wisdom and peace the next time I experience difficulties in my friendships. I trust You to help me and give me courage. Thank You in advance, Jesus.