Small Groups. Five HabitsÖrnek

HABIT FIVE: Share Other People’s Burdens with Sympathy.

“No man is an island.” So, the saying goes.

In 2012, I became a part of a church abroad that was composed mostly of migrant workers- people who have been separated from their families in order to find better ways to provide for them back home. Migrant workers suffer homesickness, maltreatment in their workplaces, cultural differences that sometimes result in workplace misunderstanding, financial difficulty and many others. How do I minister to people like them? We came up with this theme: “Rejoice together, Suffer together… Better Together.”

We realized that there is power in “together”.  Life is not to be lived in isolation but in community.

And if a community is to be strong and stay strong, it has to be lived understanding that we all need to embrace “together”.

One of the most powerful ways to embrace “together” is to be sympathetic to one another. 

The word sympathy comes from 2 Greek words (syn+ pathos) that means “with” and “feelings” or “to feel together with” So when someone sympathizes with another, he or she feels with and empathizes with what another person feels. If that person is rejoicing- rejoice with him or her, if he or she is mourning- cry with that person.

This is what the Apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 12:15-16: 

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”

There are 3 things that we can learn from this:

1. Learn how to “feel” what others feel.

Some people are wired to easily feel what others feel while some will probably take more time to learn this. Nevertheless, this is how we can embrace togetherness in our groups.  If others see that you are sincere in how you feel towards them, they will easily open up more and feel safe in your group. Learn how to ask how they are, figure out what makes them happy, how they feel about the situations they are in and really be interested in their emotional well-being. Be authentically happy when others rejoice and be sincere when others go through suffering. 

2. Learn how to “harmonize” with others.

In music, harmony is the combination of simultaneously sounded musical notes to produce chords and chord progressions that have a pleasing effect. They are not all the same notes but when played together, they produce beautiful sounds. We may all be different, but when we seek to live harmoniously with one another, we can have a beautiful effect on people around us. Together does not mean uniformity but unity.

3. Learn how to be “humble”.

The key to living life together is humility- the ability to associate oneself with any kind of people- high or low. When we are not conceited or arrogant (thinking highly of ourselves) but rather humbly treat others as if you are in a lower position than them, it sets us up to learn to listen to others, experience life with them and journey life together no matter what life throws at you. When our small groups have and live out humility, we can surely live life together.