Break Free From Envy a Six-Day Reading Plan by Anna LightÖrnek

Day 5—The Root of Envy 

On a spring day, I took a hike through the woods with my six-year-old daughter. We were so excited it was finally warm enough to be outside, and we enjoyed exploring the thick woods around our house. Afterward she couldn’t stop talking about how much she loved nature. “I’m a nature girl now,” she would say to which I only smiled, knowing she would lose interest as soon as the Oklahoma humidity set in. “I’m a nature girl, and I’m the only one!” That sentence struck me. I was surprised that even at six she didn’t want anyone else to be what she was, to be the same or have similar interests. “There’s plenty of nature for everyone to enjoy,” I told her. 

If we’re honest, we’re all a little like this. We want to be special, to stand out and may feel uneasy if someone poses a threat to that significance. As I thought more about this I narrowed it down to a scarcity mindset. 

It can be hard for our finite minds to comprehend the abundance that is available in Christ. We fear the “blessings” or good fortune will run out, or that maybe God will forget about us. We want to be seen, noticed, celebrated. But when we see others being blessed it awakens our envy and we wonder if He loves us at all. 

Envy really isn’t born from contempt of other people’s blessings. That is the fruit of envy. I’m convinced the true root of envy is distrust in God. 

I can trace envy back to disappointment and possibly even anger with God. It’s not that I’m frustrated because others have things and I don’t. I’m frustrated because God hasn’t or seemingly won’t give me what I think I deserve and if I’m really honest, I don’t trust that He knows best. 

Isn’t He supposed to be a good God? A distrust in God stems from a lack of knowing Him in His true nature; knowing or remembering His true character. He is infinitely good. He promises to work all things for our good, but His goodness cannot be measured in giving us what we want. That’s not wise parenting. In fact it’s important to remember that He is love, so everything He does can be filtered through that lens.

He is also infinitely abundant. Psalms says He “owns the cattle on a thousand hills,” which means He owns everything and He will never run out. Do we believe that? Can we trust that He sees the big picture of our lives and there might be things we don’t yet quite understand? Could it even be possible that what He has in store for us is so far beyond our wildest imagination? Do we have faith for that? I’ve heard it said, “You can have God, or you can have understanding, but rarely can you have both.” 

Is God enough for us?

Getting to the place of rest where God is enough comes from knowing His true nature. Knowing His true nature comes from spending time in His presence, getting to know Him better. As Brennan Manning says, “You will trust God only as much as you love Him. And you will love Him to the extent you have touched Him, rather that He has touched you.” 

There we learn He’s not holding out on us, or punishing us. He is a good, good Father and He longs to bless His children. But it may look different than what we expect. If we can allow the feelings of envy, doubt, anger, and frustration push us toward His heart rather than away, we will find He always has much greater plans than we could ever imagine. Our hope then, is not in getting what we want. Our hope is in getting to the center of His heart, the place of true fulfillment.