All My Friends Have Issues By Amanda AndersonÖrnek

I love social media and I use it daily. But it tricks me into feeling like I have connected with other people when I really haven’t. And it does this to all of us. We are sitting at home with our toddlers at our feet or we’re in our beds at night, scrolling through our cell phones, and we crave human interaction. We check Facebook or Instagram and that hungry growl for connection in our soul feels slightly appeased when, in reality, we are as underfed spiritually and relationally as we would be if we chewed a piece of gum for nourishment. We haven’t given anything beyond the click of a mouse, and we haven’t had to sacrifice any other activities to do it.

We must be willing to sacrifice our time so that we can get to know each other and not just read about each other. Texting as a primary way of getting to know people isn’t enough either because none of us are that good at telling others who we are. We usually just tell people who we wish we were and who we think we are (which is sometimes worse than we are, sometimes better). Texting is also an easy way to misinterpret tone. . . .

The solution is to go old-school in our approach to friendship making. We have to be brave and engage with others in person: learning, taking risks, having fun, and being “naked” psychologically. And there is an added benefit to these activities: they are confidence-building. . . .

If you’re still in your early twenties, you’re in prime confidence-building season because learning and risk taking is likely a big part of your life, unless you’re spending too much time in your dorm room on Instagram. But if you’re older and more entrenched in routine, you have to put in a bit more intentional effort. . . .

I’m praying that wherever you are in your authenticity with your friends, you will take the next step to go deeper, and then the next, and the next, until you have women in your life with whom you have actual intimacy. I pray that through the risk of making your relationships more real, God honors your courage.