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Study her

One of the teasers and puzzles that sustains interest in a marriage over many decades is the fact that you never fully comprehend your partner. Men and women are tantalizingly wired differently from each other. Their perceptions about money, romance, communication, time, and appropriate social behaviors can be significantly different.

God built us with these differences to enrich our lives. Satan would like to use them as wedges to drive us apart. Spouses who assume that their partner thinks just like them will grow frustrated and irritated.

The apostle Peter had a mother-in-law, so he must have had a wife too. She undoubtedly taught Peter a lot about how the female half of the human race perceived things. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives” (1 Peter 3:7). In this passage, the Greek words translated “be considerate” literally mean to live with your wife “according to knowledge.” In other words, study her. Pay attention to her words, face, needs, nonverbal communication. Attune yourself to her--don’t assume that she looks at the world as you do.

Wives, you can help your husbands in their study of you. Begin sentences occasionally with the words, “I want . . .” They speak a different dialect of English from you--do not assume that they can read your mind. Marriage is a dance--pay attention to your partner.