When It Hurts: A Family Devotional for Sadness, Grief, and Hard DaysНамуна

God made us and our emotions. Our emotions tell us how our hearts and bodies are feeling. They are a sign of what is going on inside of us. Just like our heart can beat fast if we are running, slow if we are resting, or erratically if we are nervous, our emotions shift in response to what is happening in and around us.

Sometimes, we don’t like the feelings we have. We can be afraid that our feelings mean something more than they do. For example, some people think that if we are sad, it means that we don’t trust God or aren’t strong on the inside. Some people feel bad smiling after someone has died because they are afraid it will mean that they aren’t sad about what has happened.

But the truth is, no emotion is wrong. Our sadness doesn’t mean that we don’t have faith. And being happy doesn’t mean that we don’t care about the hard things. It’s okay to feel happy or sad or angry. We can feel one emotion now and also feel a different emotion later. Or we can feel lots of emotions all at the same time.

Jesus had a friend, Lazarus, who died. Eventually, Jesus brought Lazarus back to life, but before He did, Jesus spent time with Lazarus’s sisters. They were very upset that their brother was dead. And even though Jesus knew He was going to make Lazarus alive again, He still cried and was upset. His sadness didn’t mean that He didn’t have faith or that he wasn’t strong. It meant that Jesus felt hurt and pain. (See John 11:33-43.)

Jesus didn’t try to hide His sadness or worry that crying would make Lazarus’s sisters feel worse. Jesus could have said that Lazarus’s death wasn’t a big deal or that it was silly to be sad because it would all turn out okay. But he didn’t do that. Jesus responded to pain with his tears.

Our pain matters. The Bible tells us that God keeps track of ALL our sorrows; it says that he collects EVERY tear you have ever cried in a bottle (see Psalm 56:8). No hurt is too little or too silly. They all matter. Pretending you are not sad or hiding your sadness doesn’t make you strong and doesn’t make it better for other people. We don’t have to be embarrassed about our sadness. God cares about our feelings.

Family Discussion Questions (pick 2 or more)

• Do you think it’s wrong to feel sad?
• Do you think your sadness makes other people feel worse?
• Do you think there is any wrong emotion?
• What is the difference between feeling our emotions and letting them control us?