Is It Worth Being "Right" in Our Relationships?

By Kristen Strong

One activity I dearly love today is watching college football. And while I generally have a friendly personality, football can bring out . . . how shall we say . . . competitive Kristen. I become mighty keyed-up over games, especially when my beloved Oklahoma State Cowboys play our rival, the Oklahoma Sooners.

If I’m honest, I tend to see my Cowboys as good, and the Sooners as bad. I might even holler such at the television while watching a game. <Grin.> Still, as one who enjoys watching the game, I realize college sports is of no real consequence. At the end of the day, this fits in the category of “sports rivalry”—all in good fun.

If only all of life’s opposing viewpoints could be reduced to the same.

I’m not one to confront folks I disagree with, generally, but I can certainly stew in my feelings of wanting to confront them, even friends. I rather enjoy the idea of setting someone straight, especially when, in my mind, they’re just plain wrong in their belief.

But that’s a faulty motive that often leads to faulty actions. And if this knowledge isn’t enough to make me course correct, this Proverb is: “People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives" (16:2 NLT).

The Lord will always get to the basement-level “why” of our actions. Would I rather deal with the humbling reality of not “giving full vent” to my opinion or deal with the Lord humbling me in some way because I refuse to humble myself?

After lamenting to my friend Barb about a conversation where different opinions were on full display, she told me, “You can be right or be in relationship, but you can’t have both.” This has steered me well in the Big Picture View of my friendships. Will I sacrifice or damage a friendship for full (and often flawed) argumentative communication?

Only if I want to be lonelier.

Pray

Dear Father, when a friend gets under my skin with her differing viewpoints, help me to major in the majors and keep away from the minor “high” of venting or even stewing over my opinion. Let me rely on Your wisdom, not in folly that comes from pride. Give me a humble heart like Jesus. In His name, amen.