Finding Hope and Healing in a Fallen WorldНамуна

FALSE SELF

Do the people you rub shoulders with every day know you? I mean the real you? Or are you hiding behind a mask?

Masquerade parties have been around for centuries. Their appeal is the sense of mystery pervading a room when guests dress in elaborate costumes to conceal their true identity. The light-hearted charade allows participants to mingle with one another without anyone guessing who they really are behind their masks.

Masks are fun at parties, but in everyday life, they’re unhealthy. We don’t roam our neighborhood in clever disguises, of course. But many people hide behind a different kind of facade, one counselor calls “the false self.” The false self is a way of portraying ourselves to others in a way we think they’ll like more than the person we truly are.

These masks take many forms. Some people act happy and positive in social gatherings, but privately they struggle with depression, substance abuse, or marital problems. Others may wear odd clothes or makeup. Some may even use anger or humor to keep their relationships on a superficial level.

Ultimately, the masks we wear are for self-protection. They hide our emotional wounds from further injury. But they also prevent us from experiencing intimacy in our closest relationships. When we hide who we really are, we distance ourselves from our family and friends and, yes, even from God. Intimacy requires transparency and vulnerability, and you can’t experience that pretending to be something you’re not. So take a risk with a safe person you trust, whether that’s a family member, a friend, or a professional counselor. Strip away the masks of your false self and let the real you come shining through.

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