Fighting Loneliness: Created for Community & Meaningful CompanionshipНамуна

What is loneliness and why does it matter?

Have you ever felt deserted, isolated, without a friend in the world, or abandoned? Perhaps you are in a season where this is your reality. Or, maybe you have a loved one struggling with rising above the despair of loneliness.

Join me in learning about loneliness and our innate need for community and companionship.

The different types of loneliness:

1. Emotional loneliness: the feeling of being alone.

Emotional loneliness can be present when you’re with others or when you’re physically alone.

• This may present as inward isolation in which we feel like we’re with people, but not with anyone we have a secure and familiar relationship with.
• This can be related to a job, school/academia, military, new setting, or a season of change.

2. Physical loneliness: being physically alone.

Perhaps you’re a stay-at-home mom, in a rigorous academic setting, a widow, an empty- nester, in retirement, suffering through illness, or in an isolated job atmosphere.

Now, let’s dig a little deeper. Think of a time when you felt lonely and what you believe was the cause of this loneliness.

Allow me to share about my own experience in multiple domains.

• In nursing school: I felt alone and as though no one in my circle could understand what I was going through – the amount of mental stress and fatigue, the level of expectation placed on myself – and the physical loneliness I chose because I needed to study with minimal distractions.
• Navigating the change of having a newborn plus a toddler: I felt like no one understood or saw things from my perspective. Or noticed how much I thought I was sacrificing myself – mentally, physically, and emotionally – all for the sake of simply keeping everyone fed and in clean clothes.

Roots of Loneliness

Now, let’s dig out the roots. Is there a recurring theme when you experience loneliness?

Allow me to dissect what the recurring theme was in my experience.

When I felt as though I was being misunderstood and not validated — as though no one could fathom where I was coming from, what I was feeling, or how much emotional despair I was in — I responded by drawing a box around myself and isolating myself even more. Hence, loneliness incites more loneliness.

In seasons or circumstances of loneliness, our thoughts tend to turn inward, feeding the breeding ground of already despairing emotions and: thoughts. This eventually leads us to develop a victim mentality.

Hold up! What I just shared sounds like a downhill spiral – because it is. Friend, let me tell you some good, great news:

God in His infinite wisdom created us for community. And better yet, we see Jesus’ modeling of companionship and community throughout His ministry. More on this later. For now, meditate on Genesis 2:18 and take comfort in knowing our Heavenly Father desires us to experience deep, meaningful community with others and with Him.

“Now the LORD God said, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him – a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.” - Genesis 2:18 AMP