21 Days to Building a Faith Filled Family - Audio DevotionalНамуна

Navigating Family Conflicts in a Healthy Way

Welcome to Day 13 friend. You’re doing great, and I’m so proud of you.

Today we will be talking about how to navigate family conflicts in a healthy way.

As we begin, let me pray for our time together.

Heavenly Father, thank you for being with us, even in times of conflict. Help us to turn our hearts and minds to you today as we think back on the conflict in our family. Thank you that you are faithful and your righteous right hand sustains us. Help us today to see you. Amen

I encourage you to make yourself comfortable and dedicate 100% of yourself to Jesus for the next 15 minutes. If you’re listening to the audio, you can close your eyes and let my voice guide you.

Conflict is not a bad word. With the right tools and mindset, conflicts can be resolved in a way that strengthens relationships rather than damaging them. Plus, some conflicts can actually promote creativity and innovative solutions to problems.

The foundational understanding is that we cannot allow for unresolved conflict in our family.

Have you ever encountered someone who characterizes their infrequent communication with a family member by saying, "We're just not that close"? That often indicates unresolved conflict between them. That’s not okay. How should we navigate conflict in the family?

Conflict inside a family is not a modern problem. God’s Word is not short on examples of conflict within families.

Isaac and Ishmael are an example of unresolved sibling conflict that can lead to generational rifts. In Genesis 16-21 is the story of these two half-brothers who were at odds about who was the rightful heir to Abraham’s estate and promise from God. Conflict remained unresolved between these two brothers and eventually their descendants. Ishmael’s descendants developed into the Arab nations and Islam while Isaac’s descendants founded Judaism and Christianity. These groups are still in conflict today.

Even Jesus’ family had conflict. Mark 3:21 tells us how Jesus’ family reacted when they heard about his teachings, “When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”

So, if you’re dealing with any conflict in your family, you’re not the first.

Take a moment to think about any conflicts you may have had in your family. Is any of it unresolved? Ask God to give you wisdom and insight as to the root of any conflict.

[PAUSE FOR RELFECTION]

Conflict can arise in any relationship, but it's important to remember that it's not the conflict itself that causes damage, but rather how we handle it. Sometimes small issues can grow into larger ones if we internalize the issue, or leave it unresolved.

How do you deal with conflict? Do you internalize it? Do you ignore it? Do you avoid it? Take a minute and reflect on your approach to it and how God might want you to approach it.

[PAUSE FOR REFLECTION]

Do you find that your approach is different when that conflict is with a family member versus a friend? What about somebody you don’t know? Are you willing to be more kind to somebody outside your family?

[PAUSE FOR REFLECTION]

For you, how you deal with conflict might be because the issue stems from deeper matters within the family, or in you, such as unaddressed feelings of hurt or neglect. If this is the case, you can invite the Holy Spirit into your heart to help guide you on these issues.

What I do know is that we, as Christians, are called to love and forgive one another, even in the midst of disagreements. Even our family members.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Matthew 5:23-24

I used to read this passage and think that my brother or sister was anybody other than my real, actual, brother or sister. I believe that this passage was telling the Jewish community at the time, and us today, that resentment in our heart or unresolved conflict is important to God. Very important.

So, how do we do it well? In Matthew 18, Jesus lays out a process for resolving conflict within the church, but the principles can also be applied to family conflicts. He instructs his listeners to address the issue directly. If the issue is not resolved, include wisdom from others into the process to help with reconciliation. If the issue is still unresolved, create healthy boundaries to protect the relationship.

Let’s be the kind of people that don’t let unresolved conflict live beneath the surface. Make a commitment to try, as much as it depends on us, to resolve conflict with forgiveness and humility.

In your effort towards reconciliation, additional resources and help might be needed, such as a counselor or mediator. Trusted experts might have the wisdom and experience you need to resolve the issue at hand, but asking for help can be difficult. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance, sometimes that’s the bravest thing you can do.

I believe you can have the perspective that conflict is inevitable, but resolution is important to God, so you’ll embrace the humility and courage to pursue reconciliation.

Let's take some time to pray for our families now.

Lord, please help me to see my family members like you see them. And help me to see me as you see me. Please, give my family the humility it takes to navigate and resolve conflicts in a healthy way. Help us to give grace to one another and forgive each other as you forgave us through Christ. I pray that reconciliation and resolving conflict begins with me. Please, Lord, give me the courage to take the first step in my family. Amen.

Okay friend. I’ll leave you with Jesus now. Take all the time you need and I’ll talk with you tomorrow.