Grief is Never Too Much

I have seen so many things in hospital rooms—the kinds of losses no one should have to endure. I have been in rooms where the family is wailing, weeping, dancing, pacing, rocking, rolling on the floor, punching themselves, narrating their emotions, singing, cussing, laughing, vomiting, and screaming.

I have been in rooms where there is numbness, no tears, blank faces, hiding, falling asleep, flat affect, whispering, hardly able to speak a sentence, and even a guilty sense of boredom when the death is long and lingering.

There are both extreme expressions of emotion and complete deflation of the body.

Some may say it’s too much. Or fake. Or laughable.

I’m here to tell you there is no such thing as too much grief. You cannot be too sad, numb, or paralyzed by emotion. There is no right, elegant way to do this. From my experience, grief tends to be a scream or a whisper. There is little balance. In some rooms, the grief is an almost embarrassing release. Not everyone has to weep, not right then. Some need to laugh. Or eat. Or organize. Or sleep.

All of it, anything and everything is grief. And it is true.

I know this - grief cannot be evaluated or qualified. Everyone grieves the way they will. And the way you grieve is never too anything at all.

Reflect: In your experience, what does your grief look like? Have you ever been worried that your grief was “too much” for anyone or anyplace? Have you attempted to diminish your grief as a result?

Pray: Dear God, thank you for being a safe outlet for my grief. You have seen everything and know everything. Nothing is too much for you. Bring relief to my suffering and healing to my pain.