The Mental Mindset of Mary, Martha & MeНамуна

BEHAVIOR TELLS A STORY

As I have said before, behavior tells a story. All behavior is driven by a need to connect or self-protect. How we choose to do that is either constructive or destructive. The behavior will also fall into two categories.

Maximizing / Explosive: Verbally loud and attacking, dramatic, hail-storming, hulk, physically aggressive, lashing out, externally explosive.

Minimizing / Implosive: Withdrawing, shutting down, stonewalling, silencing, pulling away, turtling, internally implosive.

In the story of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10, the behavioral reactions of Mary and Martha tell very different stories. I believe Martha's behavior reveals an identity driven by a performance-based mindset. In other words, success and performance determined her value. We know this because problems generally arise in one’s behavior when anything threatens our need for success. The need to stay in control of one’s self-worth becomes the core drive influencing how we behave. We see this clearly with Martha as she storms into the room, mouth blazing a verbal attack at Jesus in front of everyone. (I like to imagine she had a very large wooden spoon in hand, too.)

On the other hand, Mary displayed a very different posture despite triggering circumstances. It would have been very easy for the men in the room to use this opportunity to give her the hairy eyeball along with a nod in the direction of the kitchen. Mary positioned herself in a very vulnerable yet courageous space. We don’t know if this was the first time she had done that, but considering she was pushing the boundaries in a male-dominated world, I imagine there might have been some anxiety, yet she remained calm, externally at least.

I believe the need to defend oneself dissipates when our security is found in the validation and acceptance of Jesus. Mary was at peace despite Martha’s verbal attack. I believe the complexity of the crisis is clarified and calmed in the company of Christ.

Over the next 5 days, we will deeply dive into the five key behavior reactions we can glean from Mary and Martha.

Remember, behavior tells a story.

DEEP WATER QUESTIONS:

• What type of behavior do you lean towards when triggered, maximizing – explosive or minimizing – implosive?
• What effect does your behavior have on your soul and the world around you afterward?
• What is the one behavior reaction you like least about yourself that you wish to change?
• What circumstances typically trigger this reaction in you?

PRAY

Lord, I invite you into the most triggered spaces of my soul and I pray that you bring to awareness the fears, hurts, wounds, or insecurities in me causing my destructive reactions. Help me pause in You and lean on You in my distress.