Overcoming Shame With the PsalmsНамуна

During a summer in college, I got a well-paying job and began spending a lot of money. When the job ended, I stopped making money but kept spending it. Over the next four years, I amassed over $10,000 in credit card debt.

I felt deep shame about this predicament because my parents taught financial management classes when I was a kid. I should have known better! To make matters worse, I was engaged, so my debt was about to affect my fiancée.

Shame kept me from connecting with my family’s wisdom and inhibited intimacy with my fiancé. I was ashamed of what I had done and afraid of being condemned.

Ultimately, a premarital counseling session opened the door for me to confess my problem. Together, we identified a plan that would lead to financial freedom.

Do you know what shame is keeping you from experiencing? Can you imagine what your life would be like if you navigated shame differently?

David’s shame was deadly. Uriah was a “Mighty Man of David”—one of 37 elite soldiers who protected David and went into battle for Israel. After David summoned Uriah’s wife to the palace and impregnated her, David’s shame led him to create a scheme to call Uriah back from battle in an attempt to cover up the pregnancy.

When Uriah proved to be more righteous than David, David ordered one of his most loyal soldiers to be abandoned in battle, killing him. As we explored yesterday, David felt like he was in the clear. That is until the prophet Nathan confronted him.

Shame thrives on secrecy. David’s shame had the most destructive power when it was secret. But when he discovered his actions were not secret, shame lost power. He moved towards repentance and ultimately experienced restoration in his relationship with God.

When what is causing us to feel shame moves out of the darkness and into the light, shame loses power to control us. Our guilt remains but our shame can subside.

Guilt is inevitable when we make a big mistake and feel the weight of our actions. Guilt is not necessarily a bad thing! The question is whether our guilt produces Godly sorrow or worldly sorrow (also known as shame). The Apostle Paul wrote about how God can work through intense feelings like guilt and sorrow, noting that “Godly sorrow brings repentance.” This kind of repentance leads to salvation, whereas shame or worldly sorrow condemns us.

Therefore, I encourage you to take inventory in your heart today. Are you experiencing Godly sorrow or worldly sorrow about your sin? Guilt or shame? Are your feelings drawing you closer to God and others? Or do you feel unworthiness, causing you to hide from God and others?

May you experience the freedom David found in Psalm 51 when he confessed his sin and experienced God’s mercy. I look forward to tomorrow when we’ll wrap up this series by exploring how understanding our true identity builds our resilience against shame.