Day 3 Sign #1 You Need a Change: Comparison

John 4:1–3 NLT

Interestingly, the Pharisees noted Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John the Baptist, which led Jesus to journey through Samaria to get to Galilee. Surely Jesus and John did not consider themselves as rivals—or competitors. They each knew their distinct roles and led well in them. Acknowledging they were not in competition, John affirmed that he was sent to spotlight the ministry of Jesus. John even declared his role must decrease, even as Jesus’s must increase, saying “He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less” (John 3:30 NLT). Still the Pharisees, as the keepers of the traditional religious structure, made the comparison.

We should not be surprised!

The structures and systems in which we lead often heighten the tendency toward unhealthy comparison. We are quite satisfied with our work role until we hear about a friend or colleague’s promotion and wonder why we didn’t get our own promotion. Then we set out to get one too. Unhealthy comparison breeds unhealthy competition.

People who prompt us toward such comparison aren’t really interested in us, our callings, or our purposes. They want to know about the size of our staff, the size of our ministries, how much revenue we bring in, or the size of the budgets for which we are responsible. They are trying to quantify our worth in terms of how much more we have than others. But no amount of money or other metrics can appraise our souls! Who we are in Christ anchors our worth: we are children of God, blessed, adopted, chosen, and “accepted in the Beloved” (Eph. 1:6 NKJV)!

Jesus left without setting the record straight. Laser-focused on fulfilling his leadership assignment to go through Samaria, Jesus did not bother addressing the Pharisees’ comparison chatter. We later learn through the Gospels that Jesus always led, ministered, and served by following the will of his heavenly Father. He was not in competition with any other leader. Neither was John the Baptist, who readily acknowledged his call as a forerunner of Christ. And neither are we.

Sister leaders, don’t miss this. You do not need to compare yourself to anyone else. Ever.And you need not fall into comparison traps other people set to lift you up—or tear you down.

As Black women of faith, if we are not careful, we will buy into patriarchal, hierarchal leadership models detrimental to ourselves, the people we serve, and the communities we are trying to build and sustain. That competitive spirit starts with comparison, and it manifests in jealousy toward others, especially other Black women. We are not in competition with anyone else in terms of our roles, leadership, dress size, hairstyle, bank account, house, apartment, or car. We are not even in competition with ourselves. To establish a healthy foundation for growth, we need to be able to celebrate both our successes and the successes of those around us so we can be the best version of ourselves each day.

When we find ourselves in places where our sense of self is being diminished due to this tendency toward unhealthy comparison, then for our souls’ sake, it’s time to pivot and reimagine how and where we can lead from our best self and not in competition with others.