Spiritual Leadership for Parents Of: Special NeedsНамуна

Isolation

The isolation on a special needs journey is real. In fact, after Shelby was born, we went from hosting dinner parties and attending friend’s BBQ’s, to completely staying at home. We had so many therapies…medical appointments…and a toddler who was impulsive and into everything!!! It became too difficult to be in other places as we spent our whole time chasing our girl. She would grab everything off the shelves and tour each room in a house. We started saying “no” to invitations, as outings became exhausting. The worst part though, was when the invitations stopped coming altogether. This felt crushing.

During this time, amid the heartache, we gently reminded each other that we were not alone. We knew that God was with us. However, I went through times when the physical isolation felt so heavy that a lump of grief would fill my throat as I would play in the yard with my kiddos. Many times, in those lonely days, my eyes would fill with tears, but my heart danced with the love I felt for my sweet family.

Emanuel, in Greek, means “God with us.” I cried out to my Emanuel so many times in those days. In my heart, I knew He was there, but the loneliness was sometimes bigger than my belief. The truth is, He was always there, and he saw every tear I cried (Psalm 56:8 MSG). So many beautiful things, small, yet beautiful, happened while the kids were young amid the isolation. All of them are proof of God being right by our sides. In fact, because we leaned into one another, our family found a different kind of fun. We had dance parties and made cookies for our neighbors. We had scavenger hunts and made crazy art projects. We took walks in the woods and ran on the rocky beaches of Washington state. My husband and I grew even closer because there were no other social distractions. We became a stronger team. All these things were gifts within the isolation. Perspective is everything. Perhaps isolation is just what we needed early on to form the strengths we would need for later.

The journey we are all on as special needs parents is layered. Our lives change, and if we allow it, we grow. It takes time, but as the habit forms to look for the gifts in the hard, we can really get back to a rhythm of grace and joy within the isolation. He is always with us!