Preparing for Marriage BiblicallyНамуна

CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE (2)

One major principle in marriage is that conflicts are inevitable, but they can be taken care of. Conflicts in marriage will give you two outcomes and you will determine the outcome you want to have. The two outcomes are the outcome of misunderstanding and the outcome of understanding. Understanding leads to respect, submission, cleaving, and unity, while misunderstanding leads to despise, hatred, opposition, separation, and disunity. Take note that I didn’t mention divorce as one of the options. Conflicts well managed will lead to understanding, but when not well managed, they will lead to conquest and destruction.

When dealing with conflicts in marriage, three things must be recognised, namely: the issue, the person, and the relationship. Most of the time, couples deal with and attack the person and leave the issues unattended. Attacking the person and not the issue will weaken your relationship. For example, telling your wife she forgets things a lot is attacking her person, and that will weaken your relationship somewhere. Men complain that women waste time; that is dealing with the person, not the issue. Women, on the contrary, don’t waste time, but use it differently from men.

Deal with conflicts at the issue level. Every time conflict shows up and you go after the person, the relationship gets weaker, and you will soon need an expert to keep it from falling apart. You wonder why your husband is withdrawn or why your wife is silent. Most likely you have not been dealing with conflicts at the issue level.

Couples should not hide matters from each other. Find out what the issue is. One of the major problem areas in marriage is sex matters. These are matters that Christians especially don’t find easy to talk about because the devil convinced us that discussing sex is ungodly or sinful. We, however, forget that sex was created by God, not the devil. Why should unbelievers be talking more about sex than Christians?

PRAYER: Lord, I receive wisdom to apply biblical principles to my marriage for excellence, growth, and improvement. Amen!