One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy EvansНамуна

Dreaming Big

Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. (1 John 5:14-15)

Research proves that the best marriages are those with high goals. It’s important that you set goals for your marriage and keep your expectations high. However, high goals must also be accompanied by realistic expectations.

There are two extremes that cause a lot of marriage problems. On the one hand, it is common to see couples who have very high expectations for their marriages but also have a fairy tale mentality that everything good is just going to fall into their proverbial laps. Unrealistic expectations set them up for heartache and disappointment.

On the other extreme are the couples who don’t want to be disappointed so they keep their expectations low. Sometimes these couples are cynical because of failed marriages in their past or chronic problems in their present marriage.

Finding balance is the key to success. You must set goals and have dreams for your marriage. You must also realize that there will be challenges along the way and enemies you must face and overcome. By the way, the journey toward the dream is as important as the dream itself. It is on the journey that you learn to depend on each other, trust in each other, pray together and ultimately become close friends and intimate lovers.

Another important issue in setting high goals is to learn to establish practical disciplines in your relationship that move you toward your goals. They need to be things your regular schedule can accommodate and things you’ll stick with. Here are a few practical suggestions:

+ Have a date night every week. Do something special and work hard on that night to keep your romance alive.

+ Commit to having a vision retreat this year (which I talked about in week 44, A Common Vision).

+ Be creative and energetic in meeting each other’s needs.

+ Brush up on your manners. Recommit to appreciating each other and honoring each other.

+ Go to at least one marriage seminar this year, and read at least one marriage book together.

Be inspired to set some new goals and keep dreaming big dreams for your marriage. God created you for greatness.

Talk It Out | What goals have you set for your marriage? Do you have realistic expectations of how to attain them? Write down your common goals and pray together, asking God to help you realize your dreams.

Walk It Out | Make this week’s date night specifically for her. Husbands, let your wife choose what you will do on your date, and put extra effort into making it special for her!