One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy EvansНамуна

The Simple Solution

Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble. (Psalm 119:165)

I was on a television program once where they were taking live questions from viewers all over the U.S. One of the callers had an interesting question for me. The first hint I had that this wasn’t going to be a common question was when she stated that she had ten mothers-in-law.

In the village in Africa where her husband was from, it was common practice to share children among groups. Her husband was literally raised by a group of ten women who each considered themselves to be his mother. Now, after he had immigrated to the United States and married, each of these women were vying for position and influence in his marriage and family. This woman’s husband was passive and wouldn’t stand up and do anything about it. The wife literally couldn’t make any decision or have a say about anything without being usurped by a “mother-in-law.”

I remember how I answered her. I told her that whether she had one mother-in-law or ten, the principles are always the same. Her husband needed to stand up and protect her from the interference of these women.

I’m mentioning her story to make this point: most problems in marriage have pretty simple solutions. Let me encourage you that as difficult as things may be, there is an answer and it’s probably not that complicated. The following is a list of some basic principles that will make a dramatic difference in any marriage.

+ The most important issue in marriage is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

+ Marriage must be the first priority.

+ Marriage is work. There is no such thing as a marriage that operates solely on chemistry or “soul mate” steam.

+ Marriage requires teamwork and sacrifice.

+ Dominance destroys intimacy and goodwill.

+ Men and women are very different and must honor each other’s unique natures and work hard to meet each other’s needs.

+ Couples must deal with anger every day and not go to bed with unresolved issues.

+ Marriage takes faith.

+ One spouse trusting in God and doing the right thing can turn the worst marriage around.

Talk It Out | When you read over this list, does one of these principles jump out at you? Talk about which of these areas you feel you are doing well in, and which ones you would like to improve in.

Walk It Out | Show your spouse that he or she is a priority in your life by saying no to an activity so that the two of you can spend some time together. It might mean missing a tv show you like to watch or skipping lunch with your friends this week so you can have lunch as a couple.