He Cheated and He ReconcilesНамуна

Devotional Day 1:

You have chosen to remain in your marriage outside of the obvious circumstances that seem so big. Some days, your burden seems too heavy; and you are still angry but genuinely want to show your spouse love again. But, how do we do that when it does not feel possible due to our feeling of disgust and sadness? Our best option is to remember that forgiveness is a journey and, it is not a one time event that happens then magically removes all of the hurt and trauma. It is not something that you wake up and feel; it's something that is progressive and it takes work; lot's of spiritual and intentional work.

Anger and hurt are genuine emotions to the process of healing. These emotions are completely honest, and justifiable emotions that you should feel. However, it is our job to ensure that although we feel these emotions, we can't make these emotions permanent that will then turn into resentment and a hard heart. Grieving is necessary, anger may even happen, tears will flow, feet may stomp, and our spirit will yearn, but God wants to sit with us in our emotions. God wants to sit with us through our deep hurt and comfort us while we are there. It is okay to be there, feel it all while you are there, but it is not okay to stay there.

In our sorrow we still must choose forgiveness over bitterness. Forgiveness means that we hold no record of wrong, that we turn the other cheek, that we must not fixate on the situation at hand but the restoration God has. How much easier is it to see this than do this? SO easy! But, that is why our relationship with Christ through this journey is so important. The pain hurts deeply, but we have to choose to lean on the Holy Spirit through our suffering and walk the journey of forgiveness with the intent to actually forgive. Through our sorrow, we must not become bitter or resentful as this just halts the blessings of the Holy Spirit. Through our pain God still wants to restore, He still wants us to lean on Him and keep Him close during this painful process because faith goes before feeling and forgiveness is a journey.

While we are walking through the journey of pain we can keep no record of wrong. Therefore, healing cannot take place if we sit in haste. The conversation cannot be, “remember that one time at band camp?” Letting go and releasing it means we don’t forget it, but we forgive it; and if we forgive it then who are we to keep retrieving it? To become spiritually healthy again we must remember that forgiveness is a gift that we must give in order to receive.

Reconciliation can come when true healing can take place and trust can restore; how can one trust the process if the betrayal is always brought to the surface? You may have a reason to not forgive, but you do not have an excuse as the Bible has called us to forgive.