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Wrestling with Doubt

There’s one person in the Bible who literally wrestled with God: Jacob. If you’ve read the book of Genesis, you’re familiar with Jacob’s antics. He famously conned his older brother, Esau, out of his birthright, bribing his brother with a bowl of soup. Later, he dressed up in animal furs to fool his dying father into giving him the blessing, and it worked. Then he fled his childhood home before Esau could kill him.

After years on the lam, Jacob receives a scary message. Esau “is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him” (Gen. 32:6). Jacob is “greatly afraid and distressed” by the news (v. 7 NKJV). Jacob, ever the schemer, shifts into survival mode. He sends herds of animals ahead of him as a gift to Esau, hoping to assuage his brother’s wrath.

The night before meeting Esau, Jacob is all alone. That’s when the divine wrestling match happens. A stranger appears. Initially, we’re told nothing of the man’s identity, just that a fight ensues. They wrestle all night. Jacob realizes there’s something special about the stranger because he begs the man to bless him. The man tries to break away and leave, but Jacob clings to him, even after he dislocates Jacob’s hip. “I will not let you go unless you bless me” (Gen. 32:26).

Then the man does something odd. He renames Jacob. “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome” (v. 28). Then he grants Jacob’s request and blesses him. Jacob limps toward the sunrise a different man. The dreaded encounter with Esau turns out to be a reunion. The brothers embrace and weep.

Jacob was far from perfect, but he got one thing right. He hung on to God. He was flawed, but he had faith. And tenacity. He knew the only thing more dangerous than wrestling with God was letting God go.

The timing of Jacob’s wrestling match with God was no coincidence. It happened on the hardest night of his life when he was scared to death that he was going to die. When he’s sitting in the dark all alone.

We’re not so different from Jacob. We tend to do our best tussling with God in the dark, in those moments when we’re fearful or overwhelmed. We can feel a little sheepish turning to God in such moments. Especially if we’ve been ignoring Him during the good times. I know I’ve started a lot of prayers by saying, “God, I’m sorry I’m only coming to you now . . . when I’m in trouble.” If Jacob could wrestle with God when he hit rock bottom, we can too.

And, in fact, that’s the best possible thing you can do in such circumstances. Because in coming to God, even if we’re uncertain or angry, it still shows that we trust Him and that we haven’t given up.

For more information on how small acts of faithfulness can change everything, see Drew Dyck's book, Just Show Up.