Mama, Take Back Your Joy From AnxietyНамуна

Whatever motherhood journey you’re facing, and whatever experiences you’ve had in your life, my bet is you can relate with me on this: our anxiety doesn’t like the lack of control.

You may want control because you have a fear of the unknown, and thinking about the future makes you anxious. You may feel like you can handle your anxiety better if you’re controlling the things that make you anxious. And then there’s some who are a little obsessive when it comes to worrying about things and just always need something to worry about (yup, that’s totally me).

This kind of worry about control takes the joy right out of motherhood, am I right? Yes, there are things we have to monitor and manage, but we can’t—­and we don’t—­control every little thing this world will throw at our kids. So why do we do this to ourselves? Well, part of it is because we think it comes with the job description of being a mother. We think if we don’t worry about it all, who will?

The more we control, the more we want control. It’s a vicious cycle that may never end. And you might just have a controlling personality (that’s totally fine too), and it might not even be related to your anxiety. Or you may be reading this chapter and wonder what this has to do with anxiety. Maybe you don’t experience this part of it at all. But control and fear kind of go hand in hand.

Here’s the truth: You’re never going to be in full control. Never. Not once. Not gonna happen.

All those lies I try to tell myself about my need for control—­they’re just lies.

God literally has the whole world in His hands.

Once you rest in that fact, you can finally start loosening anxiety’s grip over you. Think about it for a moment. The control you’re clinging to, my bet is it’s making you even more anxious. It’s making you more stressed out as you’re trying to do it all. It’s just giving you more things to worry about.

First Peter 5:7 is a popular verse, and I’m sure you’ve heard it recited to you by others when you’ve told them you’re anxious. I’m going to type it out again here: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

I seriously debated where I would put that verse in this plan or if I’d even include it. It’s a verse that’s thrown out there so often to those of us who have anxiety as we’re told to “just cast your anxiety on Him.” But I don’t want to focus on the first part of the verse—­the “cast all your anxiety” part. I’m sure you already know how to do that. I know you know how to pray, and I’m sure that’s the first thing you do when you’re anxious. Jesus is our first line of defense with our anxiety. (And if you’re a new believer, just an FYI for you, you’re gonna need Him to fight your anxiety. It’s a whole lot harder without Him; trust me.) So no, I’m not going to look at the first part of the verse. I’m going to look at the last half of it.

“Because he cares for you.”

He loves you, Mama. The God of the universe.

Let’s take a look at another mama in the Bible who had zero control over her life. We find Hagar’s story in Genesis 16 and 21.

Hagar found herself in a situation that was not her choice. She was a servant of Sarah, and Sarah was the wife of Abraham, a man whom God promised He would make “into a great nation” (21:18). (At the time, their names were Sarai and Abram. God later changes their names to Sarah and Abraham, which is why, for simplicity’s sake, I’m going to refer to them that way.) Sarah was unable to conceive and did not believe God would provide her with a child. God had told Abraham Sarah would get pregnant, but she was pushing ninety years old by this point, and she didn’t think it was going to happen. Sarah took matters into her own hands (you could say she tried to control the situation here), and she told her husband to go sleep with her servant and build a family through her. Hagar then became pregnant, and both women grew to despise the other due to their circumstances. And so, Sarah mistreated Hagar. Hagar—­pregnant, all alone, and probably terrified—­fled into the wilderness.

An angel appeared to her and told her to return to Abraham and Sarah. He promised that her descendants would increase “too numerous to count,” and he told her to name her son Ishmael because God listened and heard her misery. Hagar responded, “You are the God who sees me. . . . I have now seen the One who sees me” (Gen. 16:13).

God saw her.

God sees. God comforts us in our anxiety. God strengthens us when we feel like our life is spiraling out of control and we don’t know what to do.