Trying Again Part II : After Miscarriage & Pregnancy LossНамуна

The Rocky Boat

Trying for a child can be exciting and stressful all at the same time. You dream each day of the potential gender, their personalities, how you will dress them, and their name! It can be fun for you and your spouse to dream and hope together. When my then-husband and I were trying for a child, that was one of the happiest times of our lives. We both enjoyed talking about what a future would look like with children and started making plans based on the idea of us having a family.

However, trying for a child can also be taxing, especially when dealing with infertility. The constant doctor visits. Taking medicine. Shots. Blood level checks. Ultrasound checks. It can be overwhelming. There can also be a continuous variation of emotions when taking a pregnancy test. You are hoping for a positive, fearing a negative, and constantly checking to see the results. There can be so many negative tests before the positive.

Among these moments, I wasn't prepared for how it would affect my marriage. His way of dealing with the disappointment was different from mine, and that caused dissonance between us during the journey. We also focused so heavily on the process that we forgot to focus on God's will and our relationship. As we go through these next days, consider how you and your spouse's relationship has been thus far in the journey and decipher some areas that may need work. Remember, God always expects us to put our spouses first after Him. Don't allow your dream of a future family to forsake your present time with your spouse. A strong relationship helps to build a strong family.

Reflection:

Think about the journey thus far you and your spouse have experienced with trying for a child. What has been the most challenging part so far? What have been the moments of joy?

Write down how you have reacted to the disappointments, and then write down how your spouse reacted. What were the similarities and differences? Is there a way to empathize with their reaction?