Postpartum Depression: Light in the DarknessНамуна

Disclaimer: If you are dealing with any form of depression, please seek support from a trusted mental health professional.

Day 1: God Will Meet you in the Darkest Moments of your Life. Trust me, I know.

If there was only one take away from my past and current healing journey with Jesus, it would be that God’s love toward us is extremely relentless. I mean the type of relentlessness that shows up without failure, never stops, and refuses to let up. Psalms 23:6 says, “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all of the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord.” God doesn’t cease even when we do.

Any mama that has experienced those first few months of a new baby knows the severe level of sleep deprivation. You know too well the weight of fully caring for another human and how it feels when every ounce of energy you have is depleted because you’ve given everything to your new baby. It’s grueling and can feel like you have nothing left to give to yourself at the end of each day. But, there is an innate anointing that God gives us to keep going.

Being thrown into the trenches of motherhood as a new mama brought new meaning to fully putting scripture into action. I remember gazing at the mirror and not recognizing the new body staring back in my face. I also found that deep, unhealed wounds of insecurity, unworthiness, and feelings of inadequacy rose to the surface. Quite frankly, I felt like a failure. I was tortured by the inner turmoil swimming in my mind and body. The prior energy that I once used to push down the unhealed wounds was no longer available. It was just me- the raw version. I faced postpartum depression eye to eye after both of my pregnancies. I now realize that I had never paused to face and work through the unhealed wounds I had been carrying for many years. I had no other option but to surrender and confide in the One who knew me best. I’m so eternally grateful that I came out on the other side full of God’s light, love, peace, and joy. This is not a journey you can go on alone. I sought out therapy and asked God to meet me right where I was-hopeless, hollow, numb, confused, broken, and desperate for a sense of joy.

God didn’t force my healing on the spot, but instead, He met me right where I was. There’s nothing like it. God is not a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34 -35). That means God can meet you exactly where you are mentally, physically, and spiritually without trying to instantly “fix” you. You don’t have to do anything to initiate this except simply ask for God’s help.

Mama, if you feel unseen, know that God sees you fully. He sees your pain and will meet you right where you are. It's in the contrast of the darkness that we can see God’s illuminating light shine the brightest. Over the next several days, let’s dive into the access we have through power in Christ Jesus.

Prayer: God, your word says that we can come boldly to the throne of grace as your daughter. I am doing that now- desperate for you to meet me right where I am. I trust that You are good and that You have me in the palm of Your hand. You know more than anyone how I’m feeling. You said that You are near to the broken hearted, and I trust that You are near to me even though I may not feel Your presence. Your word says that I don’t have to be anxious about anything, so instead, I come to you by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving and making my requests known. Your word says if I do this, You will provide peace that surpasses understanding, and You will guard my heart. I need that from you God. I need You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

I pray that this devotional crafts the blueprint toward your healing journey in faith with God. May it lead you to erase any doubt that you are a worthy woman and mother who was appointed for such a time as this- in Jesus’ Name.