Overcoming Suicidal ThoughtsНамуна

You Are Not Alone

At an early age I began dealing with persistent anger, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and depression. Each day was a battle to get through. I faced bullying from friends, and explosions of anger, name-calling, abuse, and threats from my father. I developed a deep sense of shame, believing much was wrong with me.

At the end of sixth grade, my parents told me we were moving again. This was the third move in several years. The thought of leaving my best friends behind, and starting over for the third time in a new school, not knowing anyone, began to sink in. I felt sadder than ever before. Sadness turned into hopelessness. It felt like too much to bear. For the first time, I entertained the thought of ending my life.

Struggling with suicidal thoughts does not mean you lack faith, are a bad Christian, or have been abandoned by God. It means you are a human living in a world full of challenges, pain, and suffering. Regardless of gender, you are not alone in your struggles. According to recent CDC studies, 22% of young people and 12.3 million adults in the U.S. have seriously considered suicide.

The Bible records many instances where people who loved and followed God dealt with complete hopelessness and wanted to die:

· After losing his health, wealth, and family, Job was so depressed he wished he had never been born (Job 3:11). He also longed for death in his pain and despair (Job 17:1).

· Angry at a situation he felt was unfair, Jonah declared, “It would be better for me to die than to live.” (Jonah 4:8, CEB)

· Aggravated by others’ complaints, even Moses told God, “Just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!” (Numbers 11:15)

It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to feel. The pain of life can be horrific and feel like too much to bear at times. It’s ok to not downplay or minimize the pain you are experiencing. I know it may seem like there’s no way up, around, or out of this. But please don’t let the dark erase your memory of the light. Don’t confuse the storm for the destination. Don’t believe the lie that no one cares or that things can’t get better. Tell someone you trust about the thoughts you are having. Ask for help.

God is with you every moment of every day. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is the Author of your life and the Author of hope. Press into Him. Remember He is writing your story and is not done.

My pain is overwhelming, God. Please help me. I need You.