Grieving as an Enneagram 1Намуна

You’ll grieve as yourself.

I proactively met with a grief counsellor after my father’s death, knowing that I’d need some tips and tools to navigate the uncharted territory. I’m glad I did, if only for the practical phrase my counsellor shared with me that cut through my sheepish uncertainty:

"Doesn’t it make sense that you’ll grieve as yourself? You’ll be {your name here} in grief too.”

For me that means I’ve been intellectual, private (except for sharing here, so cue the epic vulnerability hangover) and generally have punted the emotion forward into the future like a soccer ball, to simply get through a wild and busy season of life in which stopping everything to just deal (what would be my preferred method) simply isn’t an option.

I’ve also found an outlet and some catharsis in quiet moments of remembrance or reflection. In the line of a beloved book. In the lyric of a song or the clarity of a Psalm. In a profound moment in a film. In a surprise flash of a memory. That’s my way, and so why not also in grief?

Said differently, you do you.

For me, much freedom came when I realized I was trying to grieve according to some imagined, unidentified ideal. After that realization, I permitted myself to grieve how I choose.

That helps.

Today, as you grieve, however imperfectly, may you feel free to grieve just as you are.