Know the Truth: 7-Day Devotional for NICU ParentsНамуна

Lie #1: This is my fault

The Truth: There are some things we don’t understand, but we can rest in God who knows all things.

The unknown, the fear, the guilt — it all felt so overwhelming. Maybe if I had been drinking more milk throughout my pregnancy, Prosper’s lung development would be okay. Doctors diagnosed Prosper with an underdeveloped chest about six months into my pregnancy. His chest appeared abnormally smaller than the rest of his body. Small lungs and small bones. Immediately, I blamed myself. One thought led to another thought and very quickly the trail ended in this lie:

⧿ I don’t like milk, so I don’t drink it.

⧿ I thought the dosage of calcium from my pre-natal vitamins was enough to have a healthy pregnancy.

⧿ I was wrong.

⧿ I should have been drinking milk.

⧿ I should have taken more calcium.

⧿ I should have done something!

⧿ I could have prevented my son from having this health challenge.

⧿ This is all my fault.

At our weakest moments, the enemy loves to bring condemnation. He plays the blame game. He throws accusations at rapid speed, one after another. If we don’t take a moment to see what God says in His word, we can easily fall for this lie. The Lord addresses pregnancy in Ecclesiastes 11:5: “Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.”

After doctors told me and my husband about Prosper’s condition in my womb, we asked our senior pastor to pray over our child and this pregnancy. He prayed a powerful prayer and then directed us to meditate on Ecclesiastes 11:5. This scripture shows us that there are some things in this world we won’t understand or have control over. The creation of life is one of them. Doctors can predict and warn, but there are things about this miraculous process that even they don’t understand.

If your child is in the NICU due to an unknown condition, this is not your fault. Even if your baby is in the NICU due to a genetic condition, drug use, alcohol use, or hereditary disease, you don’t have to blame yourself and carry the weight of guilt and shame. Sickness, disease, addiction, generational curses – all these things are the result of sin. We live in a fallen world, but there’s good news! Jesus paid the price for every sin when He died on the cross!

Romans 3:23-26 says: “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in His grace, freely makes us right in His sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when He freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed His life, shedding His blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when He held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for He was looking ahead and including them in what He would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate His righteousness, for He himself is fair and just, and He makes sinners right in His sight when they believe in Jesus.”

Reflection:

Take a moment right now and forgive yourself. Write down any regrets that may be lingering in your mind. Release them to God and rest in His love.