You And Me Forever: Marriage In Light Of EternityНамуна

"Kids"

Kids are a blessing—and a source of tension and struggle—that often accompanies marriage. 

Lisa and I believe that one of the greatest pitfalls in marriage is parents wanting to be friends with their kids. In a sense, that’s a beautiful thing. We have rich friendships with each of our children. However, our culture has a weak view of friendship. Friends are there to make you happy and to keep things fun. Friends would never call you out on destructive behavior or hold you accountable for your actions. 

But the biblical concept of friendship involves sharpening, shaping, hard words, and unconditional love. Proverbs compares true friends to iron sharpening iron (27:17), and to the giving of “faithful wounds” (27:6). If we were friends to our kids in this sense, our relationships would be rich. As parents, we will have to do and say things that may make our kids dislike us for a time. But we can’t let popularity outweigh the role God has given us in the lives of our children.

One of the most important questions we could ask as parents is this: What would break your heart more? If your kids don't end up loving you? Or if they don't end up loving Jesus? The answer to this will reveal if you are a “friend” to your kids (in the superficial sense) or if you are parenting as God calls you to. 

Discuss with your spouse: Would you say you’re doing the hard work in your marriage of parenting your kids in the discipline and instruction of the Lord?