Pursuing Your Spouse in Marriage | Part 2Намуна

Pursue Understanding

We are all made with a desire to be fully seen, known and loved. Marriage is the closest human relationship possible—where we deeply hope to be known and loved. Yet in reality, it’s easy to feel misunderstood, disconnected, unheard. We’re all human; we’re all sinners, and we all make mistakes. In addition, marriages are often made up of opposites who attract. Living with a spouse who thinks and operates differently than you do offers many opportunities for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Jesus is the only person to have lived a perfect earthly life, yet even He was misunderstood. We see in Mark 8 that Peter misunderstood Jesus’ teaching about his coming death and resurrection. Peter didn’t understand what Jesus said, so rather than trusting his good teacher, Peter reprimanded him. How often are we tempted to do the same with our spouse? To accuse or assume rather than to seek better understanding?

Jesus was misunderstood and let down by his closest disciples during his life on earth. In Mark 14 we see a moment when Peter, James, and John let Jesus down repeatedly. Jesus asked for their support and prayer when his “soul was crushed with grief to the point of death” in preparation for His coming crucifixion. And they let Him down.

Even with Jesus physically present, the disciples were tempted and fell into the same sinful human patterns we fall into. And this is why Jesus is so precious to us! Even as the disciples misunderstood and let him down, he went to the cross for all of our faults.

So we extend love, grace, and understanding to our spouse not simply because it’s the good and right thing to do—though it is! We love as God first loved us. As His children, love is our DNA and our nature.

Today, ask God to fill your heart with confidence in Him. Ask “to experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.” I battle a temptation to believe this is a selfish request, but in truth, we cannot live a life of love without knowing that we are fully known, loved, and accepted by God. When God’s perfect love permeates our heart and mind, it will spill over into all of our relationships. It frees us from focusing on what we want from our spouse and frees us to love well.

Going Deeper

• Ask God to show you His perspective of how much He loves you.
• Ask God to show you His perspective of how He sees your spouse.
• How can you seek to understand your spouse today?
• What does it look like to healthily work through misunderstandings with your spouse instead of fighting each time there is a misunderstanding?
• Say the good things you notice and appreciate in your spouse.