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The Heart of Marriage: Chamber 2: Forgiveness:

We’re on day two of speaking about the four chambers of the heart of marriage. Yesterday, we discussed the first and most important chamber: love. Now, we’ll discuss chamber number two: forgiveness.

Whenever sin lives, intimacy dies. Whenever sin dies, intimacy lives!

When forgiveness flows, sin dies, and intimacy flourishes. Forgiveness unleashes freedom that sets the captives free. And before you say, “I don’t need forgiveness, at least not from my partner!” take a look at 1 John 1:8-9. Still feel that way?

The restoration of intimacy starts when you get real with God and let His forgiveness flow into your life. Then, that forgiveness can flow to others and start healing your relationships.

Let me make something clear, though: Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean that you return to an abusive situation. And it doesn’t mean there won’t be natural consequences for the other person. Forgiveness frees you from the anger and bitterness caused by their actions. When you’ve been wounded, forgiveness is the only way to heal.

But how can you forgive others as Christ forgave you (as Ephesians 4:31-32 says)? You can’t (just like you can’t love as God loves), but Christ in you can.

The process of asking for forgiveness is fairly simple. (It’s just not easy!) Let me advise you: If you need to ask for forgiveness for something serious that your spouse doesn’t know about, talk with a pastor or a professional counselor beforehand. They will pray with you and help you devise a plan to bring what you have done to the table.

Forgiveness is always the beginning of deeper intimacy. God forgives us completely and entirely; His Son died for our sins once and for all. The process of experiencing and expressing His forgiveness in marriage never ends. This is a new way of life!

Thank God for His forgiveness; forgive others and seek forgiveness from others. When sin tries to kill your intimacy, you can put it to death on the cross (just as Jesus did in Colossians 2:13-14) time after time after time—with forgiveness.