In the Beginning: A Study in Genesis 37-50Намуна

How can you heal up from hurtful relationships?

There are three kinds of relationships in everyone’s life: positive, neutral, and negative.

Joseph’s positive relationships are with his father and with the Pharaoh. They add value, they lift burdens; they are a blessing. Joseph’s neutral relationships are with most of his coworkers. They’re functional, often professional relationships, and they don’t give or take a whole lot.

Joseph has negative relationships with his brothers, Potiphar’s wife, and the cupbearer. These are one-way relationships; they take more than they give, they’re unhealthy, unsafe, and hurtful. We can all identify all three of these relationships in our own lives. What we can learn from Joseph is how a relationship with God should affect these relationships with people.

Joseph has been testing to see if his brothers have changed or not to determine what kind of relationship he can have with them. He continues this test by hiding valuables in Benjamin’s belongings to frame him for theft to see how his brothers will act. He wants to see how they treat the new favorite son of Jacob. They sought to destroy his life once, and now that he is married with a family and the nation of Egypt depending upon his leadership, they need to prove trustworthy before he reveals to them who he is and reconciles his relationship with them.

The future of an entire nation depends on Joseph’s leadership. We can learn from his wisdom that our ministry and our God given destiny is more important than our biological family. If our extended families won’t submit themselves to God’s will, then we need to honor the correct priorities in our life and place the Lord ahead of them. Unfortunately, oftentimes our biological families can even become negative or evil relationships, at which point they can work against God’s destiny or pull us away from our ministry. Jesus said in Luke 14:26 that we cannot be His disciples unless we are willing to make His calling more important than even our own mothers and fathers.

While Joseph doesn’t immediately trust his brothers, he has already forgiven them. We can forgive people with or without their apology, even with or without their presence. This is because forgiveness is largely between us and God. Trust, on the other hand, requires the participation of the other person. Joseph has forgiven, and because he has forgiven he can offer love and generosity freely, but he has far too great a destiny and responsibility to hand out trust so easily. Forgiveness is a must, trust is a maybe.

Joseph tells his brothers that Benjamin will stay as his servant and the brothers must go. Judah asks for a private audience with Joseph to beg him to have mercy; he tells him that the loss of Benjamin will kill their father, and they can’t bear to see that happen. Judah, who once was a disaster of a man without any sense of right and wrong, now offers to substitute himself in place of Benjamin. Out of selfless love for his father and his brother, Judah will sacrifice his life so that his brother may go home to their father. You can see this as a little picture of the substitution of Jesus Christ, who will come from the descendants of Judah.

When Joseph sees how God has worked in the life of his once evil brother, Joseph loses it emotionally. He cries so loud that the household of the Pharaoh can hear it. He confesses his true identity to his brothers, and one of the first things he does is unburden them of their guilt. He tells them how God has used what they did for good. He has the opportunity to unload 22 years of bitterness on them, and instead he decides to immediately take the burden of their guilt from them. Joseph’s first question was whether or not his beloved father Jacob/Israel was still living. The brothers were understandably both stunned and terrified as they were uncertain if Joseph would forgive or avenge their sin against him. Joseph then spoke kindly to them with pastoral words that are as endearing as any ever uttered in Scripture. Joseph not only forgave them, but also instructed them to not be angry with themselves because God had used their sin to accomplish His will. Additionally, Joseph expressed the joy he had in now being able to share God’s blessing with them by giving them great wealth amidst famine and great land upon which to prosper and live under the blessings of the God of grace.

Joseph then embraced his brothers and wept for joy before sending them home to retrieve his father, Jacob, with whom he still longed to reunite. The unsuspecting Jacob remained at home believing that Joseph had been dead for many years and likely worried that he may lose yet another son, particularly Benjamin, on his sons’ long trip to Egypt.

God gave Judah another chance to take his test. Maybe we feel like we are disqualified from the destiny God has for us because of evil things we have done in our past. Jesus is glad to forgive you as Joseph was glad to forgive Judah. You are free in Christ to get up and take your test again.

Maybe you identify more with Joseph. Maybe you’re someone who has been sinned against, harmed, hurt and betrayed by family members, friends and loved ones. You may be burdened, but you can be unburdened. You may be broken, but you can be healed. You may be bitter, but you can be forgiving. You can have a healthy relationship with God that heals you and allows you to have healthy relationships with people; the more forgiving you can be, the more God’s destiny and anointing in your life is unleashed.

Question:

Judah’s life story starts with him being a selfish, lying, and wicked man. In this scene, we see that his heart and life have been changed. His name is mentioned over 800 times in the Bible, often in connection to Jesus Christ (e.g. Genesis 49:10). What does his example tell you about how gracious God is once we repent of our sin and welcome him to change us from the inside out? Are there any other Scriptures about Judah that are meaningful to you?