Redefining LoveНамуна

Love Is Listening

Devotional Content:

People can listen five times faster than they can speak. This poses a problem when two people are in a conversation with each other. When one person is talking, the other has extra time to think, and it can be tempting to use that time to think about anything other than what the ears are (or should be) hearing.

How well do you listen to your spouse? How do you know when your spouse is really listening to you? Do you listen well enough so that you can repeat back to your spouse in your own words what he or she just said? Or while your spouse is talking, are you thinking about what you will say in response? I used to be really good at doing that. Nancy would be telling me something or making a point and I would be thinking about my response, or how I would solve the problem, or what I was going to do as soon as she finished. So often when she stopped, I began with my brilliant dialogue that completely disregarded all she said. I had not listened. She did not feel heard. We were in a mess.

When Nancy and I are in a discussion, I have to do three things. First I have to stop everything else that I am doing. That means turning off the TV, putting down the book, or stepping away from the computer. Then I have to look at her. I must turn so my body is squared up with hers so I can look her in the eyes. Finally, I have to listen to every word she says so I can respond in a way that lets her know I not only heard her but validate what she said.

Bottom line: Listening to my Nancy is my job.

Today’s Challenge:

Use STOP-LOOK-LISTEN in your communication today.

Going Deeper:

What do you need to do to carry out the following?:

STOP:

LOOK:

LISTEN: