Focus in MarriageНамуна

Do I?

Story

I was challenged over and over on my "I Do" resolve. There were so many days that I felt like quitting but quitting was not an option. I learned early on that divorce could not be an option because it would have been my decision. When forced by your choice to make something work, you will make it work.

Yesterday I ended with this question: How often do we pray for God to fix the other person? For years I prayed that and never got an answer or saw a result because I was asking for the wrong thing. I wanted my husband to change, and then I would. I thought that's how things worked. I had to start listening to the instructions that God was giving me. It had to be one of the most challenging things for me to do at that time because I wanted my husband to change and fix things, but he was not listening. God can only work with the One that is willing to listen. I knew we weren't going anywhere, but I didn't want to live like that, so I was all ears.

Holy Spirit started to instruct me on my responses. I had a smart mouth, and I didn't need my husband to care for me, so I said whatever I wanted. I had to fix that. The worst thing you can do to a man is disrespect him, and I learned that the hard way.

When I started being intentional about how I responded or reacted to situations, I began to see a change in my husband. I would love to say that he changed right away, but he did not. Many wonder how it was possible to continue to stand when things were so bad. Let me tell you. I had to see a new day. I started treating him like he was acting like he was supposed to, and it changed how I acted. God only gave you control over yourself, and you have to be your focus. When you stand before God, you will have to provide an account of your actions and not your spouse's actions. The scripture is clear in Galatians 6:7 "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap." I believe if I sow love, I will reap love. If I sow serving and care, I had to reap the same. That principle kept me focused.

Challenge

Today identify one thing you like about your spouse and focus only on that one positive thing. You will be presented opportunities to see the negative but cast those thoughts down.

Word Weapon

1 John 3:3 "And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."