Confessions of God's People Stuck in the MiddleНамуна

Confessions of a Guilty Coward - Peter

Oh God,

I am overwhelmed by shame and guilt. When I open my eyes, I want to cover my head with the blanket and stay that way. Not only am I mourning your death and am in shock by it all, but it was my fault! I know it was. I was the one who betrayed you in the courtyard by the fireplace.

I had three chances to stand up for you, fight for you, and even go down with you. Instead, I denied you. I was even scared of a lowly servant girl who asked me if I knew you. What was the worst they could have done? I would have had a chance to talk about you and share your hope and message of love. Instead, I hunched over the fire, hiding my face.

This guilt is heavier than anything I have ever felt before. In the past, I have been looked down upon and disrespected. It used to make my face burn and my stomach drop. You were the first person who saw me and made me feel like I was worth something. Now, that is all lost. I wish I were dead.

I thought I was so great. As the twelve disciples, we would conquer the world and show others we were capable! Look at us now. We are scattered and afraid. I am no good anymore. I better go back to fishing if I can remember how to do that.

A Guilty Coward

Peter, The Rock,

I know you are ashamed and embarrassed. I saw the tears and anguish in your eyes as the rooster crowed. You are correct that you should not have been embarrassed by me or afraid of death, but I did not come into the world to condemn you but save you.

I told you I would suffer many things and die. Don't you remember when I was in all my heavenly glory on the mountain top? I told you then. When we headed into Jerusalem, I said I would be mocked, scourged, crucified, and rise again. I know you didn't understand it, but I was trying to prepare you.

You feel overwhelmed by your sin, but remember, I have forgiven them all. I am merciful and will remember your sin no more. You have humbled yourself, and you are crying out in prayer and seeking my face. I hear you, and I will forgive you. I will take your mistakes and give you a second chance. So confess who I am, and I can build something extraordinary on that confession!

Your Faithful Father