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Redeeming Your Soul’s Shadows

Mark Twain once wrote, “Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

Every soul has its shadows; and when we’re honest about their presence, it forces us to grapple with deeper questions, motivations, and influences that caused them to persist in the first place. What are the shadows in your life? What are the places in your soul that you’re ashamed of?

Behind every shadow is a substance. Just like when you step outside on a sunny day, the shadow on the pavement projects the contours of you. So, too, your shadows always point to something in your life—an event, a memory, a heartache, a moment of pain or disappointment—that we’ve been concealing from God, others, and maybe even ourselves. True repentance doesn’t stop at naming the shadow; it asks the deeper question of how the shadow came to be and how it can be redeemed.

Rabbis in the ancient world argued there are two impulses in every human heart. They called them the yetzer hara (bad) and the yetzer hatov (good). Interestingly, they believed the yetzer hara was an energy or force that could actually be redeemed for good in our lives. For example, the impulse toward self-interest, once redeemed, could be used for creative causes, such as building a home or starting a business. The impulse toward greed, once redeemed, could result in wise financial decisions, investments, or saving money. Or the impulse toward passion could lead one to fall in love, selflessly nurture a family, and remain tirelessly committed to one’s spouse.

Now, I don’t believe we ought to capitulate to our evil impulses, especially because we’re commanded to put them “to death” (Romans 8:13). But I do see in this an invitation to pursue redemptive ways to channel our souls’ fire toward holiness, health, and beauty. Perhaps this clash between our inner heaven and our inner hell is a force that humbles us, drives us towards grace, and galvanizes greater longing for the way of Jesus.

Could that be why God allows certain shadows to haunt us; and why, when we confess sin, the desire for it often lingers? We often expect God to emancipate us from its presence or thwart us from ever being tempted again. Occasionally that happens. But most of the time, at least for me, I still feel the pull of temptation. Why? One reason is because we still live as flesh and blood. Until heaven, we’ll continue to struggle with sin in our life.

But, secondly, I wonder if God isn’t simply concerned with repressing our shadows as he is with redeeming them. What if our shadows matter because they bring us to a place of humble dependence? What if he doesn’t want to sweep them under the rug but instead expose them for our healing and the healing of others? What if God’s intent isn’t to airbrush the imperfections in our lives but to beautify them with his forgiveness and grace?

Instead of getting frustrated that God won’t take your shadow away, maybe a better question would be: What does a healthy version of my shadow look like? How can I harness yetzer hara to bring beauty into the world? How can God use this part of my past to announce resurrection life?

Here’s what resurrection means. Every part of your life—the victory and defeat, the laughter and horror, the joys and sorrow—is teeming with possibility. Jesus is redeeming all of it:

Fear redeemed is an opportunity for courage.

Pain redeemed is a catalyst for strength and resilience.

Addiction redeemed is transformed into disciplined formation.

Regret redeemed is reshaped into compassion and empathy.

And your shadow redeemed looks like the beauty of Jesus.

Because of grace, everything in your story has purpose. Even the dark parts. Especially the dark parts. Your brokenness is what allows the light to get in.

Response

What are some of the shadows in your life? Be specific.

Your shadows point to and expose dynamics at work in your soul. As you look at your list of shadows, what do you think they say about you? What are they trying to reveal? In what ways can those shadows be redeemed?