When Hope Grows Up: Hope In His PlanНамуна
We like to check the box. We quickly categorize. We think in black and white.
Therefore, we also like to feel in black and white.
Happy or sad. Angry or joyful. Disappointed or at peace.
My education, training, and professional experience as a mental health therapist has always taught me that this black-and-white thinking is simply not how we are wired. But our society does not embrace this much. The messy complicated gray of feeling too much of anything, let alone feeling conflicting things at the same time, has many of us numbing and self-medicating ourselves to the utter loss of us.
However, I did not truly learn and embrace giving myself permission to feel it all, and feel it all at the same time, until going through and surviving the infertility journey and being in relationship with Jesus.
Losing three babies, not being one of the success stories and choosing to define my own happy ending means I must choose to live the rest of my life making room to feel it all.
Sadness with joy.
Trust with longing.
Parts forever missing and yet choosing to do the work to be whole.
His will, not mine.
Because with His grace, I am whole.
Through giving ourselves permission to feel it all, all at the same time, we allow ourselves to move through the dark as he is the light that shines out of any darkness.
With this work, we make room for the light.
This is my hope.
My hope can no longer be that everything works out the way I wanted. My hope can no longer be that if you just try hard enough, never give up, and do everything right, you will get what you think you deserve.
My hope is moving through the dark to make room for the light. My hope is in trusting there are no mistakes and choosing to do the work to respond to it with love, light, and courage.
My hope is in Him.
Therefore, we also like to feel in black and white.
Happy or sad. Angry or joyful. Disappointed or at peace.
My education, training, and professional experience as a mental health therapist has always taught me that this black-and-white thinking is simply not how we are wired. But our society does not embrace this much. The messy complicated gray of feeling too much of anything, let alone feeling conflicting things at the same time, has many of us numbing and self-medicating ourselves to the utter loss of us.
However, I did not truly learn and embrace giving myself permission to feel it all, and feel it all at the same time, until going through and surviving the infertility journey and being in relationship with Jesus.
Losing three babies, not being one of the success stories and choosing to define my own happy ending means I must choose to live the rest of my life making room to feel it all.
Sadness with joy.
Trust with longing.
Parts forever missing and yet choosing to do the work to be whole.
His will, not mine.
Because with His grace, I am whole.
Through giving ourselves permission to feel it all, all at the same time, we allow ourselves to move through the dark as he is the light that shines out of any darkness.
With this work, we make room for the light.
This is my hope.
My hope can no longer be that everything works out the way I wanted. My hope can no longer be that if you just try hard enough, never give up, and do everything right, you will get what you think you deserve.
My hope is moving through the dark to make room for the light. My hope is in trusting there are no mistakes and choosing to do the work to respond to it with love, light, and courage.
My hope is in Him.
Scripture
About this Plan
Bestselling author of Ever Upward, Justine Brooks Froelker, walks the reader through healthy messages of hope in surviving and thriving after life doesn't turn out how we planned. A mental health therapist and a survivor of a failed infertility journey, Justine guides the reader through a healthier message of hope. She helps the reader to find their place in God’s story, even when it has not turned out who they had hoped and dreamed.
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