Premarital: Preparing for a God-Honoring MarriageНамуна

Marriage: A Covenant vs Contract?

Let’s take a look today at the language surrounding marriage in the Bible. Marriage can best be described as a lifelong covenant to an imperfect human. For Christians, marriage is not a contract but a life commitment between man, woman, and the Lord.

The world teaches us that marriage is 50%–50% between the man and the woman. The Word teaches us that marriage is 100% for both, at all times. Unfortunately, marriages today are disposable and breakable. Conversely, as God had in His original plan, a marriage covenant should last a lifetime. He ordained the first wedding in Eden (Genesis 2:18–25) and designed the marriage covenant for companionship, intimacy, and permanency (Genesis 2:24; Hebrews 13; Matthew 19).

We learn that a godly marriage entails:

Covenant Love: Romans 5:5 (NKJV) says, “The love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” It’s important to note that your ability to love your future spouse has to come from your relationship with the Lord. When your love is secure in Him, you‘ll have the help needed to love like Christ. (Remember, that’s the unconditional and selfless agape love Jesus modeled by leaving heaven, taking our sin, and ultimately dying on the cross for us.)

Covenant Help: Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NKJV, emphasis added) says, “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” In his book 12 Questions to Ask Before You Marry, Clayton King best explains this when he writes, “A marriage relationship that is a cord of three strands will hold fast in hard times. . . . If we are held by a cord of three strands, woven together with and relying on God and our mate, then that rope stays sure no matter what comes our way. It is unbreakable.”

Covenant Blessings: Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV) says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”Marriage is good. In James 1:17 (NKJV, emphasis added) we read, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above . . .” Although marriage requires hard work, it’s certainly worth it. Think of the ripple effect your marriage alone will have on your children, grandchildren, and future generations. That’s why so much research points to the direct impact marriages have on the long-term health and success of communities, churches, and families.

Now let’s go to Google for a sample of traditional wedding vows:

"I, _____, take thee, _____, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."

Regarding this, Erin Smalley says, “Marriage is a wonderful gift from the Lord, but there are days when loving our spouse just may draw us closer to God and work holiness in us as a result. That’s why it’s important to fully understand the purpose of the vows you are taking as you enter the covenant of marriage.”

We have to consider, then, that marriage is by God’s design, and we are to honor it and take it seriously. Read carefully Ecclesiastes 5:4 (NKJV), which says, “When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it; For He has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you have vowed—better not to vow than to vow and not pay.” Moreover, we must understand why marriage matters to the Creator in the first place, and why we, as His children, should uphold it in such esteem and importance.

Pause: Read Malachi 2:14 and Matthew 19. Discuss what the Holy Spirit is teaching you in these chapters.

Practice: Consider the covenant of marriage and take time out this week to ask each other:

1. What is your stance on divorce (Matthew 19)?

2. How can we best keep our wedding vows (Ecclesiastes 5:4)?

3. Are you prepared to forsake all others and love for richer, for poorer, in joy, or in pain? Listen attentively, and take turns to speak.

Pray: Father in Heaven, thank You for being a promise keeper; I know that every word You speak is true. Please help us understand the seriousness of making this lifetime commitment called marriage. You’re a God of covenants and promises, and we want our future marriage to reflect You to the rest of the world. Give us guidance and wisdom. Amen.