Search Me: Inviting God to Examine Our Hearts - a 3-Day Devotional With Darla BaltazarНамуна

Acknowledging the Problem

“I need to make a song.” These were the first words in my head when I woke up one Friday morning. But it wasn’t because I was excited to make a song that time, it was actually because I was stressed out. I had been putting off writing a song for four days. I promised to finish something by that afternoon. But unlike other songs that came together sooner, “Search Me” was a song I dreaded having to sit down and create.

What am I doing hiding insecurities?
Why am I straying away from who I’m made to be?

We’ve all been there. We have a deadline on the same day, and suddenly, our preparation ritual to work on it doubles in length. We read that book we haven’t touched in months “to get inspired," tackle a million micro-tasks to “get the productivity ball rolling," or grab a bag of chips for emotional comfort.

I did all of these, and by the end of that day, I felt exhausted, messy, and unsettled. I felt like I did a million things, but achieved nothing. I felt no peace. People were messaging me all day, but I pushed them away. And for no apparent reason, I wouldn’t even talk to people in my own home.

That’s how I knew I had a serious problem, and it was time to invite God into my heart.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts” (Psalm 139:23 NIV)

Oftentimes, it can be overwhelming to tackle our internal struggles. We need an outside perspective that can help us piece all the mess together. And there is no one better to give that than God Himself.

God knows everything, and I mean everything—both seen and unseen. Not only is He a God of knowledge and wisdom, but He is a God of understanding. Though our thoughts may seem incoherent, overwhelming, and random to us, to God, it all makes sense. What is vague to us is crystal clear to Him.

“He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings utter darkness into the light.” (Job 12:22 NIV)

Is there something about yourself that you cannot understand? Do you feel anxious or worried? Are you unable to sleep at night or are you struggling to focus? Perhaps there is something within your heart that needs to be uncovered. When you’re ready and willing to trust our caring God, ask Him to search your heart.