Grounded Wife: Simple Truths to Honor God in Your MarriageНамуна

When Stephen came back from his deployment in the Middle East, he came back a changed man. The things he was witness to and had to work through over there altered him. And honestly, it would probably do the same to most of us. One of the most significant transformations was his plan for his future outside the Coast Guard. He’d talked about being a police officer before but hadn't mentioned it for years.

However, when he got back from being overseas, he was determined to go into law enforcement. There were many reasons why I didn’t like this, and the main one being I was tired of doing life without him. I was tired of shift work, long and unpredictable hours, and having to plan life around him only to have something change at the last minute and him not be there anyway.

Bottom line: I was tired.

Anytime the topic came up that first year he was back, it turned into an all-out war zone kind of argument. I didn’t know what I wanted for him after retirement; I just knew I didn’t want that. It was me against him, and that is never grounds for healthy growth in marriage.

I finally decided to commit this topic to prayer and ask God to change it. Well, really change Stephen because I just knew I was on the right side of God with this one. And He did answer my prayer, but not in the way I thought He would.

He changed me. God showed me my husband's heart to serve and love people. And doing so through law enforcement was what He’d given Stephen the desire to do. I had been reacting from such a self-serving place that I was willing to discourage my husband from doing what God had called him to do.

When I think back over our 20+ years of marriage, and all the times I fought so hard for control and my way before finally surrendering to God, what needed to change the most was me. God will do waymore with our surrender than we will ever do in our striving. When we surrender to Him, we cultivate fertile ground ready for God to produce growth and a great harvest.

“Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!” Matthew 13:8

This fertile ground in marriage is cultivated when we intentionally put God first above all else. It’s making sure we’re rooted in the life-giving source that is Jesus. It’s where He uproots what doesn’t belong and fills us with what does. It’s where we get to deeply know the character of God that can only be known through time spent seeking Him, reading His Word, listening to His voice, and surrendering to His will. It’s where change happens and growth takes place. And it’s where we can be the wife God has called us to be.

I know there are aspects of your marriage that are well outside of your control, but they’re not outside of God’s. He wants to bring about change, and that change starts in you. God’s not asking you to fix all that’s wrong in your life and your marriage. He’s simply inviting you to love Him above all else and to seek Him first. The results of what comes after that are in His hands.

Dear Heavenly Father, You are patient and full of grace. I so often try to fix what’s broken or manipulate the outcome to fit my prerogative instead of surrendering to You and Your perfect plan. Help me to run to You first, not only in my marriage but in everyday life. And help me to ask for forgiveness quickly when I strive to make it all work myself. I don’t want it if it’s not from You so I lay it all at Your feet. Have Your way today and every day. I love You, Jesus. Amen.

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