No Offense Намуна

Healing or Hurtful? 

It’s tempting to ignore our anger all together, believing that good Christians aren’t supposed to get angry. But there are several issues with that strategy. First of all, God gave us the emotion of anger, and anger itself isn’t a problem. Secondly, ignoring anger doesn’t make it go away. 

In fact, hiding our anger can often lead to bitterness, resentment, or cynicism—none of which help us become more like Christ. 

On the other end of the spectrum, many of us may give in to our anger, exploding or yelling at others because of our personal pain. 

Neither response is wise. 

The thing is, anger can actually be a very useful emotion when managed correctly. Anger indicates when we need to right wrongs, stand up for ourselves and others, and correct a problem. In fact, anger can also be the catalyst to healing and restoration in relationships. 

Look at what Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV says about that: 

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. 

This encourages us that the day of our hurt should also be the day of our healing. That means we’ll need to use our anger to fuel action—not feed a grudge. 

So how can we diffuse our anger in a life-giving way?  

1. Acknowledge the anger you’re feeling. Take a deep breath. Before saying anything you regret, take a moment to pause and consider why you’re angry. Has someone crossed a boundary you’d like to protect? Has someone hurt a person you love and care about? Is there an injustice that needs to be corrected? If so, don’t ruminate about it. Go do something about it. Have a conversation, and fight for healing despite your hurt feelings.  
2. Pray about your anger. Ask the Holy Spirit for self-control, a sound mind, and a calm, forgiving attitude. Ask God to reveal if there’s any part of the anger you can own, or if there’s any action you need to take.  
3. Seek restoration and reconciliation. If you get angry with someone, the same day of the offense should be the same day of forgiveness. Don’t wait until tomorrow to extend the grace you can give today. 

Anger is inevitable, but we don’t have to be afraid or ashamed of it. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. So let’s be people who react slowly, apologize early, and forgive easily, so that we can lead with love.

Pray: God, thank You for giving us the emotion of anger. When I feel anger coming on, give me the wisdom to pause and bring it to You. Help me be slow to speak and quick to listen. Give me self-control, and help me handle my anger in a way that honors You. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

*Please note: If you’re experiencing deep hurt or trauma, or if you’re in a situation where seeking reconciliation would be dangerous, consider seeking out a Christian counselor.