Who's Taking Care of Me?Намуна

WHEN YOUR BABY IS HURTING 

If there’s one phrase every mom can relate to, it’s “MOM GUILT”. I had every aspiration to be the perfect mom before my son was born. “I’ll stay composed; never get bitter; and always radiate with contentment and joy,” I idealistically thought. Well, as you probably guessed, this couldn’t be further from reality. 

Almost daily, I find myself comparing my role to my husband’s and, in my frustration, getting irritated or snappy with him. My bandwidth for dealing with stress has drastically decreased. For example, if my son refuses to latch at a feeding, I find myself exasperated and often pleading and reasoning with my baby to comply. 

If my temper snaps or I let myself give in to self-pity, I often find myself suffocated by a cloud of shame. “A good mom would never do that,” I tell myself. In these moments, often the last thing I want to do is go to God. I’m ashamed of my behavior, and I want to clean up my act on my own. 

However, the Bible teaches us that God is not put off by us when we mess up. The book of Mark describes an instance where Jesus is spending time with “sinners and tax-collectors,” tax-collectors being a despised role in that society because of their propensity to cheat and steal. The religious leaders question why Jesus is with such people. Jesus responds, “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” 

God did not come to us because we were good. In his love, God came to us because he wanted to heal us. And because God hates the damage our sin does to us, he is continually drawn to us in our sin. Sin is like an illness: it infects our lives and causes pain and suffering.

Think about when your baby is hurting... If he’s crying after a round of vaccines, don’t you want to hold him close even more than usual? If she bumps her head during floor time, don’t you want to cover her in kisses? If your baby gets a fever or a cold, aren’t you even more dedicated to caring for him? 

This is how God feels towards us when we sin. Pastor and author of the book Gentle and Lowly, Dane Ortlund describes this reality beautifully, saying, “If the intensity of love maps onto the intensity of misery in the one beloved, and if our greatest misery is our sinfulness, then God’s most intense love flows down to us in our sinfulness…Our sins do not cause his love to take a hit. Our sins cause his love to surge forward all the more.” 

The next time you lose your temper or find yourself unhappy in your role, don’t resort to mom guilt; don’t isolate yourself from God in your shame. Think of how you treat your baby when she’s hurting, and remember that this is how God feels towards you when you mess up. Go to God and let His tenderness, His love, and mercy wash over you and bring you comfort and healing. 

Take a moment to rest in your Heavenly Father’s love and mercy for you in your sin.