DAY 6:

Jim Carrey, one of the richest and most successful actors in the world, said this, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it's not the answer.” Those are some pretty sobering and serious words spoken from someone who's been at the top of the mountain in every way, and he's reporting back to us that it's not all it's cracked up to be. What the world promises will make us happy will actually leave us feeling empty.

I wrote this line in the song “What If” that cuts to the core of my personal biggest fear. “My biggest fear is waking up to find what matters is miles away from what I spent my life chasing after. Is my story going to have the same two words in every chapter? What if? What if?” 

The Bible says it like this: in Mark 8:36, Jesus said, “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” Those words should haunt us in the best way. Some “what Ifs” are not bad because some “what ifs” can be used for self-examination. It’s taking inventory of how we're living our lives, asking whether our priorities are lining up the way God intended, or not. It’s being brave enough to ask the question, “What if something needs to change?” 

Looking at our relationship with the Lord, our relationship with our possessions and our pursuits, and our relationship with the people around us, if you were to ask me what my priorities are, I would say, “God, above all else, then family.” Then everything else falls after that. But I wonder, do my actions line up with that? Does my schedule line up with that? Does how I spend my time daily back that up? 

Anyone else thinking, “ouch?” I can't help but think about my wife, Emily, and my daughters, Delainey and Lulu when I talk about this kind of thing. Why is it that the ones we're closest to are the ones that we often hurt the most, appreciate the least, and take for granted most often? Or maybe that's just me (I hope it's not just me!) If we’re letting the truth be told, we know we all struggle with that sometimes. 

I've heard it said that “you define what is important to you by what you dedicate your time to.” Again, ouch. So, what's the answer to that question for you? Have you heard about that theory of 10,000 hours? Basically, the premise is that for anyone to become great at anything-to master, a craft-it's been said that you've got to put in 10,000 hours of practice to master anything. 

However, we always associate things like that with career pursuits when the same could be said for our relationships. I can be sad when I feel like my relationship with my daughter isn't as close as I want it to be; but when was the last time I invited her to go on a daddy-daughter date? I could wish that there were no unresolved family conflicts, but have I set aside time to pull back the rug and have some hard conversations instead of just sweeping it under the rug and pretending like they don't exist? What if I could take some steps that would lead to some healing in the relationships in my life? But instead, we stay busy, we keep working hard, we make money, we climb ladders, we put in our 10,000 hours perfecting all the other things while the clock keeps ticking and time moves on.

I received a story from a woman who had a strained relationship with her biological father. He hadn't been the dad that he needed to be; that was true. He deeply hurt his children over the years, and many years later, his now-grown daughter received the news that her father was in his final days in a nearby hospital. She decided to take the step of forgiveness and be by his side at the hospital. She shared one moment of total honesty when her father looked at his daughter with tears in his eyes and said, “I missed it, I missed it. I missed the point of this life.” The daughter held her father's hand and said, ‘Well, you're here now, and you're not missing it anymore.”

I want to read you these words from a song that I wrote called “The Beautiful Things We Miss.” This is my heart’s cry. “I don't want to miss it. I don't want to look back someday and find everything that really mattered was right in front of me the whole time. Open up my eyes, Lord. Keep me in the moments just like this, before the beautiful things we love become the beautiful things we miss.” 

Don't miss it. Ask some of the hard “what if” questions now, so that you're not asking them when it's too late at the end of your life.