The Widow's & Widower's WalkНамуна

THOUGH YOUR DREAMS BE TOSSED AND BLOWN

I have lost my parents, my only brother and sister, a dear friend, and my soulmate.  When death knocks at our door, no one wants to open that door.  

Each loss was terrible, each different, but only the death of a spouse gives us a new title, an unwanted title.  I received that new title on August 20, 2017, at 6:18 a.m.  I was very transparent about the details of my husband's death in another YouVersion Devotional titled “Death Does Not Own Me,” so I will spare the details in this devotional and go straight to the grief.

Although my husband received a terminal diagnosis and then lived two months, shy of two days, nothing prepares a person for such a loss.  We were married fifty-three and a half years and dated almost a year before that, so it was always Dan and Norma!  I am sure many of my readers can relate, for whether you are married a short time or for decades, the other person becomes a part of you.  It is a relationship, a sealed bond, a covenant between two people in love.  

Dan had just retired two years prior. He fought cancer and the beginning stages of dementia, so the dreams that many couples enjoy together during their senior years were gone.  

Our dreams were tossed and blown.

That last breath of his was like sucking part of my life away from me.  Whether your spouse passed years ago, last month, or this week, you understand.  I often hear about the vacations friends have taken, and it makes the dreams we had come to the surface.  Oh, we went on several trips throughout the years, but mainly to be with family who lived out of state. We had some ideas on our bucket list that death erased. Those dreams were dashed and blown away.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.  —Psalm 34:18

My first thoughts were "Lord, I cannot do this without You."  I was inviting Him to walk with me each moment and trusting that each decision I made was the right one and that somehow the Spirit within me would send up a red flag if I was on the wrong course.

What comes next?  Oh, my goodness!  Not only are we in this fog of shock, but suddenly, on the same day, because of time constraints, our minds are required to develop a quick list of who to contact in the family and close friends before it hits social media and the newspaper.  In my case, there were at least 25 calls.  A child, pastor, or friend can help with calls, but I wanted to contact the very closest of people because I knew it would help me with the finality of what just transpired.  Does this resonate with your experience?

I used to think to myself, "How morbid" when I heard that someone had pre-arranged for their funeral, but now that I have been through that first 24-48 hours after a death, I can understand why people go that route.

I know this a day of permanent press, but I always enjoyed ironing Dan's dress shirts. Although I knew the custom of a funeral home is to send the clothes to the dry cleaners, I insisted on ironing his shirt for the last time.  As I ironed, I watched as the heat dried up the tears that rolled down my cheeks and dropped onto his shirt.  

Casting all your cares on Him, because he cares about you.  —1 Peter 5:7

Becoming widowed is such an overwhelming time, and the storm you are walking through is just beginning.  That is why it is so important to cast ALL of your burdens on Jesus.  It is a time in life when you may feel God is nowhere to be felt or seen. But let me assure you that no matter where you are in the widow or widower’s walk, God is right with you, working full time behind the scenes.  

CAN YOU RELATE?

You and I know that life is fleeting and so very precious.  It is the beautiful memories that sustain us. It is faith that holds us together with hope. As I share, I hope my encounter with grief will resonate with yours and that just knowing thousands upon thousands of people face this unwanted journey, will help us realize that just as much as death is inevitable, so is our eternal life!  

I pray this study has helped you realize that each person is to be a light, that each of us has the power to rise above grief and reach out to others.  I pray that we realize that we will always grieve our loss in some measure, but that within us is a Comforter and an Advocate who is our promise that we don’t walk this unwanted path alone.  If you resonated with this devotional, I encourage you to try my other plans on YouVersion:  "Death Does Not Own Me," "My Father Can Be Your Father," "Discover The New Door!" and "Freedom During Captivity."  You can also join me in my daily devotional as we are walking through the Bible at http://www.facebook.com/eternitymatterswithnorma