Day 5

I Messed Up. 

You said you weren’t going to do it again but you did anyway! We’ve all been there. When we sin, the tendency is to deny, minimize and rationalize. But that leads nowhere. 

“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy." - Proverbs 28:13

Hiding our sin will keep us from prospering. It keeps us stuck. Confession and repentance is how we obtain God’s mercy.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 

For about 95% of people, it takes 6 months to 2 years to experience freedom from a porn or sex addiction. It takes time to establish new healthy habits around sexual purity. Someone can stop their unwanted sexual behavior before then, but establishing a lifestyle of freedom takes time. The amount of time depends on each person’s individual situation and their commitment to recovery.

Relapses, especially early on in the process happen. You’ve trained your brain in one habit for years and now you want to begin a new habit. It takes time. This doesn’t make it less sinful or less serious, but it should give you perspective to forgive yourself and receive God’s forgiveness in Christ. 

It's important to use a relapse as an opportunity to grow. When you do, you can fail forward. 

How is it an opportunity?       

1. It is an opportunity to tell someone. As we looked at, James 5:16 tells us that healing begins by confessing to one another. It’s hard to talk about our sin and relapses, especially when they just happened, but it's so worth it! Do you have a friend or mentor you can confess to? If not, pray for one.       
2. It is an opportunity to evaluate what happened. A person doesn’t quit porn and build healthy habits by magically gaining more willpower. They must grow in a number of areas, and one of those areas is self-awareness: understanding their triggers and what it is that leads them to act out. 

Here are a few questions to ask about your last relapse:       

• What initially turned my thoughts sexual? What triggered me?       
• What device did I use to relapse with?        
• What adjustments can I make to avoid this happening again? Locking up a device? Avoiding sexual triggers?        
• What would I do differently if I found myself in a similar situation in the future?

Repentance involves turning away from our sin. How can you turn away from this sin? What are those triggers you need to remove from your life?

Part of repenting involves receiving God’s grace and believing what His word says instead of your feelings.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” - Romans 8:1

If you have received Christ as your Savior and Lord you stand forgiven before God not condemned. Don’t condemn yourself with negative self-talk. Receive what God says about you by faith and keep going. Proverbs 24:16 says, “The righteous falls seven times and rises again.” Getting back up after a fall is part of finding freedom. You must keep going.