Hope for Single FathersНамуна

Changing Lanes: Putting Others First

Yesterday we looked at the importance of self-care to maintain hope as single dads. However, this doesn’t negate the need to care for others as well. In fact, Matthew 7:12 urges us to treat others in the same way you would like to be treated. Often our sense of hope is dependent upon our ability to obey God by placing our agenda aside for others. 

Life throws us detours, requiring adjustments we hadn’t planned for. Parenting alone might be one of those surprises for you. Adjustments for you and your kids must occur, but you may not want or even know how to adapt at first. 

You’ve been driving in the same lane for so long you may be hesitant to consider doing things differently. Whether you are adjusting to hiring caretakers, moving into a new apartment, or creating new traditions—changes are inevitable. Those changes almost always involve compromise and sacrifice. 

Placing other people’s needs above your own is hard but essential for maintaining hope. God the Father is the ultimate example of how to love generously and sacrificially. By modeling his character, we find amazing opportunities to point ourselves, our children, and everyone else to the Hope of the World, Jesus. 

Putting others first is difficult. Especially if they are ungrateful or have treated us wrongly. Thankfully, God’s love inside us helps us be patient and not keep a list of wrongs committed against us (1 Cor 13). The high road is neither fun nor easy, for sure. But with the Holy Spirit’s help you can adapt and give up selfish desires, to avoid traffic jams or even a wreck in your parenting.

So, when new norms demand our attention, loving others unreciprocated can be one of the most challenging but rewarding disciplines. Especially when you feel you’re doing all the work, all the adapting, all the lane changing. Allow God to guide your response amid all the stress. There is something very life-giving and hope-filled in laying down your rights and giving of yourself. For there is no greater love than to lay down your life for the needs of others (John 15:13).

REFLECTION: Has someone wronged you who needs forgiveness? Change doesn’t often come easily, nor does sacrifice or relinquishing your rights. Consider ways you can alleviate conflict when other’s expectations collide with yours. Make a list of things that are non-negotiables versus those on which you are willing to compromise.