I Choose PeaceНамуна

Choosing Peace in Relational Conflict

You don’t just choose peace in your relationships for your own sake, although you greatly benefit from doing so. You choose peace because you are being conformed to God’s image and He seeks reconciliation with everyone. Resolving conflict has a lot to do with following Him well.

God says to make every effort for peace. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18 )

So if your network of relationships has a rupture, especially between family members or within the body of Christ, be intentional and persistent in following these steps toward restoration.     

• Resolve to stop procrastinating.
  
  Think of a specific step you can take toward reconciliation—a conversation, an appointment with a counselor, or even a prayer for God to help you as you work this out. Whatever moves you in the direction of peace, be decisive about it and commit to it.
   
• Reevaluate your expectations.
  
  Some of us got the idea somewhere in our spiritual development that Christians should never argue. We can’t expect that Christians will never make mistakes, offend anyone, or speak thoughtless words. Relationships aren’t always smooth. Remember that people have different styles and personalities.
   
• Get competent outside help.
  
  There’s no shame in asking for help. For many relationships, it can be as simple as having a trusted friend to mediate or offer counsel. Or it may mean getting professional help. You’ll probably hear some things you don’t want to hear. If you work on yourself, whether or not the other party responds, you’ll be well on your way to improving things.
   
• Refuse to allow one relationship to ruin your life.
  
  Human beings have lots of ways to get offended, and some of them are legitimate. It happens in life a lot. It happens in churches a lot. You have to decide not to let that any broken relationship ruin your life. Once you’ve done all you can to reconcile, you can then “let it go” and be at peace.
   
• Remember that a right response is more important than being right.
  
  If you think a conflict is 25 percent your fault, just assume it’s probably 50 or 60 percent. Own it and repent. Deal with the conflict in ways that don’t throw gasoline on the fire. You can resolve conflict and restore relationships. You can choose peace.

Make a commitment to choose peace in your relationships and take initiative to get there. Let love be your motivation, and let God be your guide.