Living Changed: As a Single MomНамуна

Forgiveness

Even though it is the bedrock of our faith as followers of Christ, I think Jesus knew that we would struggle to forgive. We are most like Christ when we are forgiving of others, as it often requires us to surrender our feelings and choose His will over our own. Christ was, is, and always will be the chief Forgiver.

Despite knowing all this, when it came to forgiving my children’s father for ending our marriage and leaving our family, I was unwilling. While I would have said I had forgiven him, my heart was full of hatred and teeming with bitterness. I could not find a kind thing to say about him, but I had a whole book’s worth of insults and put-downs. I would go into every conversation with him defensive and expecting a fight. It’s no wonder that’s usually what I got.

 I felt like he owed me something, but no matter how much I felt justified in my hurt and anger, I was miserable. It was a never-ending uphill battle that I was losing every day. My quest to make him hurt was only hurting me.

When I finally invited God into my hurt, I began to understand that it’s called forgiveness because it is for giving it to God. That realization helped me see that by forgiving my ex-husband, I wasn’t condoning his behavior, nor was I being a doormat. I was acknowledging 1) who God is, and that I am not Him, and 2) that Jesus didn’t just suggest we forgive others, He commands it.

 Whoever it is that you need to forgive—the spouse who left, the person who said they would help but didn’t, or maybe even yourself—it’s time. God longs to do a new thing in your life, and letting go of the hurt, anger, and bitterness is an important step. Freedom and joy are waiting on the other side of forgiveness.  

Jesus, thank you for your forgiveness and your grace. You modeled the way in forgiving all of my sin, so that I could have a relationship with you. I am hurting and forgiveness feels hard. Please open my heart to freely forgive, and have grace for others as I receive your amazing grace. Help me to trust you more and to rest in knowing that you are just, even when life feels unfair. I love you, Jesus. Amen.