Complement: A 5-Day Devo for WomenНамуна

DAY 4 - Your Husband’s Biggest Cheerleader

Do you remember the saying you heard when you were a kid: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? I get the reasoning behind why we teach our kids this cute little saying, in hopes they’ll let mean words roll off their back like water off a duck. Except the fact is that words actually really do hurt. They sting badly. I can recount specific words that have been said to me, or about me, that hurt way worse than when I broke my arm in fifth grade. 

I mean, that broken arm really bugged me for a while. I had to wear a plastic bag over my cast all during summer vacation pool parties. It was so hot at Disneyland that I thought I was going to burn up. But it has long since healed. I have no residual pain in that arm. Honestly, I’d have to think super hard to even remember exactly which arm I broke.

But words—oh, their sting can last a long time. Some of the stings last all of our days on the earth. It pains me to think that my mouth could ever spew the kind of hateful, hurtful, corrupting words toward anyone that would stick with them forever. I’d especially hate to think I’d do that to my husband.

And yet, I know that I have. I know that my words have gotten the best of me at times and I have made mistakes in what I’ve said. In those moments when I’ve done that to Aaron, or he’s done it to me, we fall back on sort of an unspoken pact between us that says no matter how innocent we thought our words to be, or what we actually meant by them if they were hurtful, we will own them and apologize. Pronto.

Is that always easy? Of course not. But do I cherish my husband more than I cherish being right or understood? Of course.

Cheering for those around us means that we use our words to bring them up and not bring them down. Complementing each other in our marriage looks the same way: both people yearning to speak life into each other, yearning to be the one who builds up and doesn’t tear down. I want to be a builder of Aaron’s life, not a destroyer. A cheerleader.

Discuss with your spouse:

• Tell each other how much encouraging words of affirmation mean to you. Give a specific example, if possible. 
• How will you “cheerlead” your spouse this week? In what areas does your spouse need verbal encouragement right now?