Understanding Sexual Temptation Намуна

DAY 1: “What do I do with my sexual desires?” 

“What do I do with my sexual desires?” I’ve heard this question from men and women of every age, from those who have never married and from those who find themselves “single again.” I have also heard this question from married people who, for one reason or another, do not feel sexually satisfied within marriage. 

If you follow Christ, you aim to steward your sexuality in a way that honors God’s design. God created sex to be an expression and celebration of the covenant promise of marriage. This means that most Christians will have sexual urges and desires that they cannot act on while honoring God at the same time. As Paul wrote, there is no temptation you experience that is unique to you. Many other men and women know the ache of denying their sexual desire for the higher purpose of honoring God. 

But what do you do with that ache? And how do you make it through a lonely night when sexual temptation is all around you? 

In our day, sex means nothing and everything at the same time. On the one hand, the culture presents your sexual choices to be as non-consequential as what you choose to eat. Sexuality has been gutted of spiritual and relational significance. At the same time, sex has been linked with your identity, your maturity, and your personal fulfillment as a human being. Sex has become the “catch all basket” to bear burdens it was never created to carry. 

Just like that craving for chocolate or the restlessness of having to sit still for hours on end, our bodies experience genuine physically-based desires and urges. But there is a difference between a physical urge and a need. Your body does not need sex, even if those longings feel very much like a need. However, you have genuine needs that may be channeled into sexual desire. 

For example, why is it that a woman might experience insatiable cravings for sex when she is single, but her desire completely disappears once she’s married? Her body hasn’t changed enough to explain her drop in desire. More likely, her longing for sex wasn’t really about sex. She used sex to meet underlying, and perhaps subconscious, needs. We usually experience sex as a need (not simply a longing) only when it is linked with greater underlying needs. 

Resisting sexual temptation definitely involves elements of self control. However, a more effective strategy than continually “white knuckling it” is to reflect on the underlying source of your sexual desire. 

After you read the verses for today's devotional, consider what they show you about your journey in learning to steward your sexual desire.