God Remembered… (Insert Your Name Here)!Намуна

Barrenness to Bitterness 

Key Verse: 1 Samuel 1:10

In my journey through the Bible to find encouragement for my own fertility challenges, I came across the story of Hannah. Just like Hannah, the start of my journey was filled with unexpected outcomes. We can look at Hannah’s story and draw encouragement and hope through her experience because what God has done for one, He’ll do for all (Acts 10:34).

I’m sure when Hannah married Elkanah she was overjoyed to be blessed with a husband who loved her for who she was (vs 5), wanted to create a family with her and most importantly, loved God (vs 1,3). Even though her husband had another wife who had blessed him with children, she still desired to have a child of her own. Because of Elkanah’s ability to father other children, the shame of Hannah’s fertility challenges was all on her. She became known as a barren woman (vs 5) and bitterness began to grow in Hannah’s heart. 

Barrenness back in biblical times was seen as punishment for something that one had done wrong. Sometimes during our own fertility journeys it could feel as if we too are being punished for some known or unknown slight to God. But I want you to remember that it is God who is ultimately in charge of our lives and the potential lives of our unborn children (vs 6). 

Not only was Hannah feeling sorrowful because of internal feelings of negative self-worth, she also was dealing with a sister wife whose jealousy caused her to mock and ridicule her situation (vs 6, 7) and a husband, who while loving, didn’t truly understand what she was going through (vs 8). Do you have people in your life that have made negative comments about your lack of children? Whether done on purpose or simply stated out of ignorance, it hurts and can diminish your self-esteem regarding your womanhood. Hannah’s response to the criticism, misunderstanding and seemingly stagnant prayers was to do what we all have done… weep (vs 8) and turn bitter (vs 10). 

BUT just like Hannah, as we hit the bottom of the barrel or tap out all of our resources, we still have the ability to pray (vs 10) and know that God is listening (Psalm 34:17). I ask that as you go about your day to remember these two things:

• Like Hannah’s story isn’t through yet, God isn’t through with your TTC (Trying to Conceive) journey;
• Sometimes God has to get us into a position to remove some stuff so that what’s underneath – our hearts - can be saved.